rivendellrose: (Tea)
[personal profile] rivendellrose
Dear Fancy-Pants Neighbor,

Under most circumstances it would really annoy me that you had your landscaper tearing out your still-blossoming spring bulbs yesterday because that's a serious waste and it makes me sad, but since I was able to snag a bunch of the ones he'd left laying on the sidewalk and hustle them home to an empty planter on my balcony and a day later it looks like I'll probably have a number of cute little bluebells for a little while and possibly some hyacinths (which hadn't even opened yet, you monster), I guess some degree of thanks are in order.

Sincerely,
Your neighbor who hates watching plants die


Dear Cat,

I know you hate your e-collar (aka Cone of Shame). I know it makes you miserable and sad, and you don't understand why you can't lick your leg. The thing is, you had surgery. Remember that day when we took you to the scary place and then when you came home you were really wobbly and drunk and sore? Yeah. They had to cut a big tumor out of your back leg. You can't lick your leg because we'd like you to not tear out the sutures and reopen the incision. If you manage not to tear or otherwise damage anything before then, you should be able to have the sutures removed this Saturday, and then we can all go back to life as usual.

Until then, please try not to knock the guard-wall off your litter box and then forget where your fuzzy butt is supposed to be in relation to the box, get litter on your collar, or, worse, get poo on your collar. None of us have any fun when you do these things. None of us.

Sincerely,
Your Humans
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rivendellrose

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