rivendellrose (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rivendellrose) wrote2006-10-04 06:40 pm
rivendellrose) wrote2006-10-04 06:40 pm
fic post!
For ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jayneaintagirl, who asked for Mulder and Skinner both going for the last cup of coffee in the pot, and narsilion, who asked for Mulder being convinced that he was being stalked, and Scully disbelieving him. Somehow, as soon as I got them, those two prompts meshed together in my head and came out as this little bit of madness.
I've never written Skinner before. Turns out, he's pretty fun. He's so... normal. XD
Fandom: X-Files
Characters: Skinner, Mulder, Scully.
Title: "Another Morning at FBI Headquarters"
Rating: PG-13. Skinner has a dirty mouth when he's sleepy.
Disclaimer: I'm not a millionaire surfer boy, hence I don't own them, and I don't make money off this. No infringement is intended.
“Problem, Agent Mulder?”
The jar of powdered creamer - still closed, thankfully - jumped from the agent’s hands with a jolt of paranoid energy. “Bwuh--oh. Morning, sir.” He bent to pick up the plastic container. Maybe it was a good thing the government couldn’t seem to find the money for real cream or milk for its agents. “I, uh... you startled me.”
“Right.” Skinner gave the other man a cautiousd look just this side of ‘how the hell are you still free to walk around with normal people?’ and moved toward the coffee pot.
“Actually, sir... I was here first,” Mulder pointed out. He’d certainly made worse career moves before, but none for a more idiotic reasons.
“Yeah, but you’re still messing around with the non-dairy chalk-dust, so...” The assistant director had barely depressed touched the handle of the coffee pot when Mulder stopped him.
“You don’t want to do that, sir.”
Skinner sighed. “Yes, Mulder - I do. See, I haven’t had any coffee yet. If I don’t get some in the next two minutes, everybody in this office is going to regret it. And you’re closest to me. So you want me to have this coffee, too. Trust me.”
“No, sir, you don’t understand - there’s only one cup left in that pot! If you take the last cup...” Mulder edged closer and lowered his voice to a tone usually reserved for alien abductions and government conspiracies involving a man who’d literally sold his soul to the tobacco industry. “She’ll come.”
“’She?’”
“The... you know.” Mulder waved his hands in vague circles.
“Tooth fairy? Easter bunny? Queen of fucking Sheba?”
“The new office girl!” Mulder hissed.
“The new...” Skinner closed his eyes. Counted to ten. And then to twenty, because it was Mulder. “That’s her job, Agent Mulder. She sends faxes... files papers... and makes the coffee when the coffee pot is empty. It’s nothing... supernatural. She’s paid to help out.”
Mulder rolled his eyes. “I know that. Have you met her, sir?”
Skinner pondered this for a moment. She was kind of... brown-haired, wasn’t she? Maybe a little bit short, but not as short as Scully? Name started with a... hmm. An ‘m,’ maybe? “Of course I’ve met her.”
“Didn’t she seem a little... weird to you?”
Skinner stared.
To his credit, Mulder seemed to realize what was going through his boss’ mind. “No, I mean, she’s kind of...” He lowered his voice again. “I think she’s stalking me.”
“Agent Mulder, that is--”
“No, seriously! She keeps... making up reasons to come to the basement. And I think she reorganized my desk yesterday...”
“Are you sure it wasn’t Agent Scully?” God knew the woman could hardly be blamed if she got sick of dealing with Mulder’s near-legendary slovenliness.
“I smelled perfume on the papers. Not like Scully wears, something kind of... candy-ish. Like cotton candy or something.”
Skinner had to admit that didn’t sound like something Scully would be caught dead wearing. “Alright, Agent Mulder. Even assuming this is true... so she reorganized your desk. She’s the office girl! She was probably doing some filing or something and figured you could use some help keeping things tidy. Was anything missing?”
“No...”
“And her background check came through without anything suspicious, so I don’t think we have anything to--”
“Shh!” Mulder raised his hands in near panic. “I hear heels coming!”
Skinner tilted his head and listened. Sure enough, down the hallway came the distinctive clicking of a pair of women’s shoes - low, sensible heels, if he wasn’t mistaken. The kind a woman might wear if she had to be on her feet all day hurrying from one end to the other of a large office. The door to the break room swung open, and--
“Good morning, sir.” Scully set a blue coffee mug on the counter. “Oh, Mulder, there you are. I think the new assistant is looking for you - she asked me if you were in yet.”
“See! I told you!”
Scully blinked. “Riiight. Okay, Mulder. No more caffeine for you this morning.” And without another word, she stepped past both men and poured the last cup of coffee out of the big pot.
Both men stared as the last, slightly gritty dregs flowed into Scully’s mug.
“I... uh... I gotta go... paperwork. From our last case. Meet you down there, Scully.” Mulder practically ran out the door toward the stairs.
“Starbucks for me this morning,” Skinner announced, feeling some small satisfaction that this would at least give him an excuse to get out of this nutfarm for a few minutes.
The men were gone before the last grounds had settled to the bottom of Scully’s coffee. She watched the door swing shut behind them, then stared at her cup. Sniffed consideringly. And then took a cautious sip. It tasted fine...
“Maybe I should tell that girl to start buying decaf. Those two definitely don’t need more excitement in their lives.”
jayneaintagirl, who asked for Mulder and Skinner both going for the last cup of coffee in the pot, and narsilion, who asked for Mulder being convinced that he was being stalked, and Scully disbelieving him. Somehow, as soon as I got them, those two prompts meshed together in my head and came out as this little bit of madness.I've never written Skinner before. Turns out, he's pretty fun. He's so... normal. XD
Fandom: X-Files
Characters: Skinner, Mulder, Scully.
Title: "Another Morning at FBI Headquarters"
Rating: PG-13. Skinner has a dirty mouth when he's sleepy.
Disclaimer: I'm not a millionaire surfer boy, hence I don't own them, and I don't make money off this. No infringement is intended.
“Problem, Agent Mulder?”
The jar of powdered creamer - still closed, thankfully - jumped from the agent’s hands with a jolt of paranoid energy. “Bwuh--oh. Morning, sir.” He bent to pick up the plastic container. Maybe it was a good thing the government couldn’t seem to find the money for real cream or milk for its agents. “I, uh... you startled me.”
“Right.” Skinner gave the other man a cautiousd look just this side of ‘how the hell are you still free to walk around with normal people?’ and moved toward the coffee pot.
“Actually, sir... I was here first,” Mulder pointed out. He’d certainly made worse career moves before, but none for a more idiotic reasons.
“Yeah, but you’re still messing around with the non-dairy chalk-dust, so...” The assistant director had barely depressed touched the handle of the coffee pot when Mulder stopped him.
“You don’t want to do that, sir.”
Skinner sighed. “Yes, Mulder - I do. See, I haven’t had any coffee yet. If I don’t get some in the next two minutes, everybody in this office is going to regret it. And you’re closest to me. So you want me to have this coffee, too. Trust me.”
“No, sir, you don’t understand - there’s only one cup left in that pot! If you take the last cup...” Mulder edged closer and lowered his voice to a tone usually reserved for alien abductions and government conspiracies involving a man who’d literally sold his soul to the tobacco industry. “She’ll come.”
“’She?’”
“The... you know.” Mulder waved his hands in vague circles.
“Tooth fairy? Easter bunny? Queen of fucking Sheba?”
“The new office girl!” Mulder hissed.
“The new...” Skinner closed his eyes. Counted to ten. And then to twenty, because it was Mulder. “That’s her job, Agent Mulder. She sends faxes... files papers... and makes the coffee when the coffee pot is empty. It’s nothing... supernatural. She’s paid to help out.”
Mulder rolled his eyes. “I know that. Have you met her, sir?”
Skinner pondered this for a moment. She was kind of... brown-haired, wasn’t she? Maybe a little bit short, but not as short as Scully? Name started with a... hmm. An ‘m,’ maybe? “Of course I’ve met her.”
“Didn’t she seem a little... weird to you?”
Skinner stared.
To his credit, Mulder seemed to realize what was going through his boss’ mind. “No, I mean, she’s kind of...” He lowered his voice again. “I think she’s stalking me.”
“Agent Mulder, that is--”
“No, seriously! She keeps... making up reasons to come to the basement. And I think she reorganized my desk yesterday...”
“Are you sure it wasn’t Agent Scully?” God knew the woman could hardly be blamed if she got sick of dealing with Mulder’s near-legendary slovenliness.
“I smelled perfume on the papers. Not like Scully wears, something kind of... candy-ish. Like cotton candy or something.”
Skinner had to admit that didn’t sound like something Scully would be caught dead wearing. “Alright, Agent Mulder. Even assuming this is true... so she reorganized your desk. She’s the office girl! She was probably doing some filing or something and figured you could use some help keeping things tidy. Was anything missing?”
“No...”
“And her background check came through without anything suspicious, so I don’t think we have anything to--”
“Shh!” Mulder raised his hands in near panic. “I hear heels coming!”
Skinner tilted his head and listened. Sure enough, down the hallway came the distinctive clicking of a pair of women’s shoes - low, sensible heels, if he wasn’t mistaken. The kind a woman might wear if she had to be on her feet all day hurrying from one end to the other of a large office. The door to the break room swung open, and--
“Good morning, sir.” Scully set a blue coffee mug on the counter. “Oh, Mulder, there you are. I think the new assistant is looking for you - she asked me if you were in yet.”
“See! I told you!”
Scully blinked. “Riiight. Okay, Mulder. No more caffeine for you this morning.” And without another word, she stepped past both men and poured the last cup of coffee out of the big pot.
Both men stared as the last, slightly gritty dregs flowed into Scully’s mug.
“I... uh... I gotta go... paperwork. From our last case. Meet you down there, Scully.” Mulder practically ran out the door toward the stairs.
“Starbucks for me this morning,” Skinner announced, feeling some small satisfaction that this would at least give him an excuse to get out of this nutfarm for a few minutes.
The men were gone before the last grounds had settled to the bottom of Scully’s coffee. She watched the door swing shut behind them, then stared at her cup. Sniffed consideringly. And then took a cautious sip. It tasted fine...
“Maybe I should tell that girl to start buying decaf. Those two definitely don’t need more excitement in their lives.”