bleargh

[rivendellrose]

Today was better than yesterday - I'm starting to figure out how things work around the office, and I'm less nervous of every little thing. I also got to listen to NPR while I worked, which made my day infinitely better.

On the down-side, it seems that as soon as I get home I'm pretty much shot for doing anything else. I'm just not used to having my whole day consumed by one thing. I know that sounds dumb, but keep in mind that I've only ever worked a very occasional 8-hr shift at my old job... and classes may take up a lot of time, but it's not consistent time doing the same thing in the same place for the whole day.

I still like my job, I'm just hoping I bounce back from this soon and am able to go back to being my usual self when it comes to other occupations. So far, I can't concentrate on writing or anytning else intellectual when I get home, and that... vexes me. I'm vexed.

...I also have a final tomorrow. See my concern? Yeah. I probably ought to review for it at some point tonight... :P

Comments

[sigelphoenix.livejournal.com]

If it makes you feel any better, your description of your first two days sounds exactly like how I felt when I started my summer job last year. It was the first full-time job I had in the "real world" in which I had no familiar people or environment. I even remember telling Sean after my second or third day that I didn't think I would *ever* get the hang of it, and that they would have to hire someone else.

Obviously, my prediction was made a little prematurely. :P Everyone knows that you're starting out, so of course they'll expect questions and mistakes as you learn the ropes. Of course you're smart and you'll learn it all. Also, I think you'll adjust to the monotony of a full-time work schedule, so you'll have some more energy in the evenings. Plus there will be those deliciously free weekends!

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

That does make me feel a lot better, thank you. It's kind of what I'd assumed - obviously, they know I'm not going to be perfect, and my predecessor and all the other folks in the office have been totally understanding about me taking some time to figure things out. But it's so nice to hear that you had the same experience, nonetheless. It makes me feel less like I'm just nuts. ;)

The weekends will be lovely, and I'm already enjoying that I don't have homework. The energy thing, as you said, will probably come with time. It's just disconcerting for now. I felt just fine until I'd gotten home, and then it was like all the energy just sapped right out of me, and I ended up just listlessly staring at the internet for a few hours. Very disconcerting.

[sigelphoenix.livejournal.com]

Not crazy! But it might be a female thing - have we talked about Imposter Syndrome? It seems to women most, and I know I fit the description to a T.

You know, one of the things about school that is a definite advantage over work is the variety in the schedule. It's too bad that jobs won't let you change your focus every couple of months, or even do the high school style segmenting of the day. I think this is what makes a full work day so draining. Not that you can't adjust ... I did, eventually, and people like Ann even manage to be disgustingly productive. ;)

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

You and I haven't talked about it, I don't think, but we discussed it in my psychology class and, umm, yeah. *Raises hand* I've gotten a lot better about it over the years, but I still have a lot of issues with those feelings.

They totally should! Although then I'd probably just be getting used to this position when I got moved to something different... I have a feeling that for a while at least this job ought to have enough to keep me busy, so that'll be nice at least. No boredom is a good thing... once you get past the feeling of omigodI'mgonnadiehowdoIdothis?!