bleargh

[rivendellrose]

Today was better than yesterday - I'm starting to figure out how things work around the office, and I'm less nervous of every little thing. I also got to listen to NPR while I worked, which made my day infinitely better.

On the down-side, it seems that as soon as I get home I'm pretty much shot for doing anything else. I'm just not used to having my whole day consumed by one thing. I know that sounds dumb, but keep in mind that I've only ever worked a very occasional 8-hr shift at my old job... and classes may take up a lot of time, but it's not consistent time doing the same thing in the same place for the whole day.

I still like my job, I'm just hoping I bounce back from this soon and am able to go back to being my usual self when it comes to other occupations. So far, I can't concentrate on writing or anytning else intellectual when I get home, and that... vexes me. I'm vexed.

...I also have a final tomorrow. See my concern? Yeah. I probably ought to review for it at some point tonight... :P

Comments

[narsilion.livejournal.com]

I think once you get used to the job/become comfortable with the job, it will become alot more routine and alot less stressful, and you'll not be so wiped out when you get home. Plus it's a big week for you with lots going on and your body will need time to adjust to all the changes. I saw you were even able to post some today at work so things must be going ok!

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it'll take some time. I was feeling better about it today than I did yesterday, but there were still some stressful moments. It's a lot to deal with, especially going from a laid-back office where the worst thing that could happen would be that a visiting lecturer's presentation would go wrong. I did more scary-important things yesterday than I did in 4.5 years at CSS. :/

Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that they're putting so much faith in me. But it's scary.

But yeah - I think I'll be okay once things settle into a routine. Until then, I'm just trying to pamper myself and stay calm.

[narsilion.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but remember, if you got it all down on the second or third day, then after a year, you'd be bored stiff. You are totally worthy of all the faith they have put in you, remember that and just do a little better each day. You'll get it. And like you said in a different comment, pamper yourself some each day.
Did you think of where you'd like to eat on Friday? Since it's a Friday, we might want to make reservations if possible.

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure that many of the places around here really do reservations, and I'd like to stay in this general area, 'cause my friend Amy is having a party later on (later-later) that night that I want to at least drop in on for a bit.

I'll call you tomorrow, maybe? I'm going to have a long bus-ride downtown after work, going out to dinner with Terra, her folks, and the Usual Crew. ;)

[narsilion.livejournal.com]

That works. I'll talk to you then. Have a great day, ok?

[sigelphoenix.livejournal.com]

If it makes you feel any better, your description of your first two days sounds exactly like how I felt when I started my summer job last year. It was the first full-time job I had in the "real world" in which I had no familiar people or environment. I even remember telling Sean after my second or third day that I didn't think I would *ever* get the hang of it, and that they would have to hire someone else.

Obviously, my prediction was made a little prematurely. :P Everyone knows that you're starting out, so of course they'll expect questions and mistakes as you learn the ropes. Of course you're smart and you'll learn it all. Also, I think you'll adjust to the monotony of a full-time work schedule, so you'll have some more energy in the evenings. Plus there will be those deliciously free weekends!

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

That does make me feel a lot better, thank you. It's kind of what I'd assumed - obviously, they know I'm not going to be perfect, and my predecessor and all the other folks in the office have been totally understanding about me taking some time to figure things out. But it's so nice to hear that you had the same experience, nonetheless. It makes me feel less like I'm just nuts. ;)

The weekends will be lovely, and I'm already enjoying that I don't have homework. The energy thing, as you said, will probably come with time. It's just disconcerting for now. I felt just fine until I'd gotten home, and then it was like all the energy just sapped right out of me, and I ended up just listlessly staring at the internet for a few hours. Very disconcerting.

[sigelphoenix.livejournal.com]

Not crazy! But it might be a female thing - have we talked about Imposter Syndrome? It seems to women most, and I know I fit the description to a T.

You know, one of the things about school that is a definite advantage over work is the variety in the schedule. It's too bad that jobs won't let you change your focus every couple of months, or even do the high school style segmenting of the day. I think this is what makes a full work day so draining. Not that you can't adjust ... I did, eventually, and people like Ann even manage to be disgustingly productive. ;)

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

You and I haven't talked about it, I don't think, but we discussed it in my psychology class and, umm, yeah. *Raises hand* I've gotten a lot better about it over the years, but I still have a lot of issues with those feelings.

They totally should! Although then I'd probably just be getting used to this position when I got moved to something different... I have a feeling that for a while at least this job ought to have enough to keep me busy, so that'll be nice at least. No boredom is a good thing... once you get past the feeling of omigodI'mgonnadiehowdoIdothis?!

[hoperomantic.livejournal.com]

Oh...you'll get used to it, trust me...hang in there.

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

Thanks. *Hugs* I think you're right - it's just a matter of getting used to it.

[reve-lucide.livejournal.com]

I hope your final goes well ... it's your last one, right? And everyone else that's commented here is right -- it always takes a good week or so to get your body adjusted to a different schedule of rest and work than you're used to right now. It'll get better. XD

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

YES!

As you already saw. But it bore repeating. ;)

*Nods* I figure that's the truth, it's just... disconcerting. It seems to be getting a little bit better, though, I hope. Either way, progress is being made!

[stormkpr.livejournal.com]

I wish I had something comforting to say here, but I gotta admit that this is the case for me as well. Ten years in the working world, and I am still mentally (and a bit physically) tired after an 8-12 hour day at the office. I don't want to do anything after work. Two years ago I volunteered on a political campaign, and the evening meetings during the workweek were exhausting because I was already wiped from work. I tried to do as much on the weekend as I could, but most volunteer groups meet during the workweek.

In all likelihood, you will adjust after a while and be able to do some stuff after work but I honestly think you can't expect yourself to be able to do all that you did before either.

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

I think with my job, it'll get better once I get used to it - at the moment, it's mostly just that I don't know what's going on and how the office is set up, a lot of the time. I'm hoping that once I work all that out the mental-exhaustion will go away... and I suppose even if it doesn't at least I'll have full weekends to do fun writing and stuff like that.

*Nods* Yeah, you're probably right. Especially since a large part of before was that my job allowed me a lot of free time to work, which I can't really do now, so much. Alas. I guess that's life, though.

[mugglegirl0908.livejournal.com]

Awwww! It'll get better! Really!

... She says a few days before she starts her first job out of college. :|

STUDY FOR THAT FINAL! :D

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

STUDY FOR THAT FINAL! :D

I did..... on the bus-ride to it. >_>

Seriously, though - it was a 200-level class, and I understood the concepts really well. Plus, it was open-book. So no studying really necessary, since I'm generally pretty good at in-class essay tests. Thanks for the support, and good luck with your new job!!!

[mugglegirl0908.livejournal.com]

Oh, then pfffffffffbt! Open book of 200 level = 10 mins of studying.

I'm sure you're totally fine. :D

Thanks! You too!