old chestnut
Jun. 29th, 2004 12:19 amWhat a surprise - I got the idea to dig through pagan communities on LJ and found absolute jack that appealed to me. Kind of like when I look through the pagan-themed books at a bookstore... or when I try to get involved with the pagan group on campus.
I'm so sick of seeing nothing in pagan literature and groups than rituals, spells, and divination. Sick to absolute death of it. This isn't a fantasy novel, or an RPG - it's real life.
I play with the runes sometimes, but for the most part I leave them alone, and I'm certainly not going to go on about any talents that I have with them. Sometimes I get a creepy feeling of knowing during a casting, and sometimes I'm spot on, even if I didn't know the question the querent was asking (my preferred way of working, since it keeps me from being biased), but I've studied Psychology enough to know that this is probably me projecting ideas that I've picked up on subconsciously onto the runes - their meanings are certainly vague enough to do so.
Yes, I've lit candles and prayed for things before. I've made charms, I've carried stones and the like for particular traits or purposes, and I have a deeply spiritual respect for certain objects, particularly those that found their way to me accompanied with a distinct feeling of importance. I'm superstitious to some extent - I refuse to talk about good things that might happen to me because I'm afraid this will make it more likely they'll not happen, I knock on wood after saying something that seems to invite danger, etc. And, as a few people can attest, I have been known to half-jokingly blame The Good Folk when I lose things in my clutter. So no, I am not entirely without fault in all these things.
For the most part, though, these are half-paranoid quirks that I've accumulated as a naturally cautious, worriesome personality. They are not the basis of my spirituality, and I don't focus on them. My focus is on nature, on prayer, on the feeling that I get when I'm in tune with the rest of the world, and the feeling of devotion I have for the gods I've chosen. I pray every night, and try to pray every morning as well. I celebrate the eight feasts, although not as much as I'd like, and feel that they connect me closely to the turning of the year.
And I think, sometimes, that it would be lovely to have a group - to have a small circle of others who believe something similar to what I do, and to share holidays and the like. I do crave that bond, just as I crave prayers that are as skillfully written and powerful in words as the prayers and writings of some of the other religions I've studied.
For these things alone, I would consider Asatru, because the words of the Voluspa and the rest of the Poetic Edda speak to me in ways no other religion's texts do, and I'm tired, sometimes, of being alone and having only my own words to lean on. But I wonder if that would be a lie. I don't know enough, yet, about my image of the god, but the goddess is fairly clear in my mind, and She has taken a form that doesn't quite mesh with normal Asatru and their focus on the Aesir and Vanir. Plus, the martial aspect of that religion doesn't quite suit me, although I could get used to it probably.
I just don't want to get stuck in a group that goes off about weird theories that seem to me like total bunk, and spell-casty stuff that I don't care about. It tires me out to be around those types, though I can see why it appeals to them.
Enough of that... it's late.
I'm so sick of seeing nothing in pagan literature and groups than rituals, spells, and divination. Sick to absolute death of it. This isn't a fantasy novel, or an RPG - it's real life.
I play with the runes sometimes, but for the most part I leave them alone, and I'm certainly not going to go on about any talents that I have with them. Sometimes I get a creepy feeling of knowing during a casting, and sometimes I'm spot on, even if I didn't know the question the querent was asking (my preferred way of working, since it keeps me from being biased), but I've studied Psychology enough to know that this is probably me projecting ideas that I've picked up on subconsciously onto the runes - their meanings are certainly vague enough to do so.
Yes, I've lit candles and prayed for things before. I've made charms, I've carried stones and the like for particular traits or purposes, and I have a deeply spiritual respect for certain objects, particularly those that found their way to me accompanied with a distinct feeling of importance. I'm superstitious to some extent - I refuse to talk about good things that might happen to me because I'm afraid this will make it more likely they'll not happen, I knock on wood after saying something that seems to invite danger, etc. And, as a few people can attest, I have been known to half-jokingly blame The Good Folk when I lose things in my clutter. So no, I am not entirely without fault in all these things.
For the most part, though, these are half-paranoid quirks that I've accumulated as a naturally cautious, worriesome personality. They are not the basis of my spirituality, and I don't focus on them. My focus is on nature, on prayer, on the feeling that I get when I'm in tune with the rest of the world, and the feeling of devotion I have for the gods I've chosen. I pray every night, and try to pray every morning as well. I celebrate the eight feasts, although not as much as I'd like, and feel that they connect me closely to the turning of the year.
And I think, sometimes, that it would be lovely to have a group - to have a small circle of others who believe something similar to what I do, and to share holidays and the like. I do crave that bond, just as I crave prayers that are as skillfully written and powerful in words as the prayers and writings of some of the other religions I've studied.
For these things alone, I would consider Asatru, because the words of the Voluspa and the rest of the Poetic Edda speak to me in ways no other religion's texts do, and I'm tired, sometimes, of being alone and having only my own words to lean on. But I wonder if that would be a lie. I don't know enough, yet, about my image of the god, but the goddess is fairly clear in my mind, and She has taken a form that doesn't quite mesh with normal Asatru and their focus on the Aesir and Vanir. Plus, the martial aspect of that religion doesn't quite suit me, although I could get used to it probably.
I just don't want to get stuck in a group that goes off about weird theories that seem to me like total bunk, and spell-casty stuff that I don't care about. It tires me out to be around those types, though I can see why it appeals to them.
Enough of that... it's late.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 08:07 am (UTC)Anyway, it seems like you've run into people who believe that they need physical manifestations of their faith/beliefs. It also seems like you don't need that. Sometimes just having faith in something is enough. You have a connection to a pretty deep spirituality and there's no need to force any image or ritual on that if you don't want to. Faith is what its really all about, in my humble-but-probably-going-to-Hell opinion, the rest is just pomp and circumstance that make people feel better and/or important.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 11:56 am (UTC)I guess so. I've had my times of questioning, certainly, but I just tend more toward a quiet and simple way of dealing with it than a lot of people I've run across.
As for Hell... I figure, if people like you and I are going to Hell, we're gonna have a lot of good company when we get there. I'm more concerned about death just being The End than with the idea of eternal damnation, when I think about it. Normally, it's not really something I concern myself with. There's no way of knowing "what dreams may come" in the great unknown after, so best to deal with the very real present instead of wondering and worrying.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 01:58 pm (UTC)There's power in symbols, and there's no rules in symbology. I find myself frequently irritated with people who turn witchcraft into a "get rich quick solve your problems without effort" scheme.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 03:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 03:25 pm (UTC)They apparently scrimped a little in the brains department.