one of those days

[rivendellrose]

Ever had one of those days when you look in the mirror, and everything seems wrong? When you could swear that just yesterday your skin looked better, your features looked like they fit together better, and everything just looked more... right. And no matter what I do, my skin refuses to cooperate. Fix one problem and another crops up and makes me feel even worse.

As if it weren't bad enough that I feel older than I ought to be sometimes, now I look in the mirror and wonder why the fuck I look older than I ought to. I don't smoke, don't drink much at all, don't live in an extreme climate, don't tan... and yet I feel like I've got the skin of a woman almost twice my age, some days. What the hell?!

I feel like such a stupid, petty bitch being upset about this. But for crying out loud, I normally feel relatively good about my looks - what suddenly changes in my head on days like this that makes everything just wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong?

And you know what? People can say all they want that looks don't mean anything, but anyone with eyes can tell that they do. Especially for women. And beauty for women is all about youth - how many female sex symbols can you think of over the age of forty? Fifty? Now how many of those have not had plastic surgery? My guess would be none. Now try it for the men. I'll give you a hint - the numbers are a lot better on the other side of the gender gap.

I'm going to go read poetry now - gods know I don't dare read Jane Austen in this kind of mood. All that talk of girls who've 'lost their bloom' and can't find a husband will be bound to make matters a hell of a lot worse.

Comments

[theladyfeylene.livejournal.com]

You probably don't need me to weigh in on this, but I will anyway. I'm not going to argue that looks don't matter at all, but they're not the end all and be all. And I don't think you look that much older than you are. And you know I think you're gorgeous. And I have a good clue as to why you're off today.

But I can think of a couple female sex symbols off hand that are past 40 without plastic surgery. Madonna, Darryl Hannah, Tina Turner, Helena Bonham Carter.... but the attractiveness standards are different when it comes to men and women, which I don't really get.

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

*Hugs* Thanks for weighing in - and yeah, it's the usual stuff that's making me bleck.

Is Helena Bonham Carter really that old, now? Wow. Although I guess I haven't seen her in anything more recent than Twelfth Night, that I can think of.

It makes sense that men and women would have different attractiveness standards, though, even if they're attracted to the same gender. I don't always agree with the gay guys I know on men, and I definitely don't always understand what men find appealing about certain women. *Shrugs*

[spazzychic.livejournal.com]

If your skin is just looking tired and old, I'd suggest using an exfoliant and a mosturizer. The wonky weather we've been having has been taking a toll on my skin too.

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

I always use moisturizer, but I've been holding off on exfoliant because I read it can take too much moisture away, during the winter. At this point, though, I think it's probably necessary - a mask, if not an actual scrub. The little dry patches on my cheeks and forehead will drive me nuts if I don't get rid of them.

[zhapper.livejournal.com]

I don't know if this will help, but I feel like this a lot too. I think it has to do less with physical appearance and more with the feeling that time is slipping away too quickly. Physical age is a representation of decreasing opportunity. We start to feel trapped in out own aging bodies, realizing that mortality is part of the post-adolescent deal. All those dreams of being an actor, or musician, or famous writer, or dancer, or whatever start to fade as bills pile up and the need to finish school and get a job becomes tantamount. The excited, breathless ideas of love fade with the memory of the sting of dating and the hassle of interacting with other, flawed human beings. The world becomes sullied and overly complex, just as our faces become lined, wrinkled, and scarred.

So go out and do something. Remind yourself that you're alive, free to make choices, and not chained to anything. Call up some friends and get away from the mirror for awhile. Do something physical that makes you feel young.

[narsilion.livejournal.com]

Very wise beyond your years indeed, and so well put.

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

You're right, that is it - the sudden realization of adulthood has been hitting lately, and the realization that... it just keeps going after this, you know? The need to figure out what the hell I'm doing, the need to figure out what I want, and the panicked revelation that, physically and in terms of freedom, this is as good as it gets - everything's been coming back to that, lately. Much as I scold when friends hit numbers like 25 and start freaking out, I'm increasingly understanding exactly how they felt.

Turns out, by sheer coincidence, that I did exactly what you advised - I'd made plans with some friends to go out to karaoke tonight, and I sang my heart out on a few good songs and had a good time. Mirror forgotten.

[zhapper.livejournal.com]

Well, in all truthfulness, I turn 24 on Tuesday. It's pretty poignant as of late.

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

I can imagine. Not like 24 is old or anything, but it's just a strange thought.

We'll have to find a time we're both free, and I'll buy you a coffee or a beer or something. ;)

[narsilion.livejournal.com]

sexy womwn over 40-50 that have not had plastic surgery?
Susan Surandon
Sophia Loren
Juliette Binoche
Madonna
Oprah (not sure about plastic surgery but Damn she looks good for 50)
Tina Turner
Annette Bening
I know there a lot more, can't think of them. I do understand though. Looking at men like Pierce Brosnan, Sean Connery, Harrison Ford, Christopher Lee, and SO MANY others, the rougher and more lined they become, the more we swoon. Urggg, frustrating, but fun too.
I agree with the very insightful ZHapper and all that he had to say, and also with Spazzychic, Seattles winters may be mild considering other places in this country, but when you are so fair, and your skin is so sensitive, even Seattles winters can play havoc, and I also agree with the The Lady Feylene, who also has a clue to why you would be "off" today.
You are so beautiful, enjoy your life.

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

*Hugs* Thanks for the support - I just felt the need to whine. Ended up feeling just fine after I'd had my little crank-fest and gone out. ;)

[lovelies.livejournal.com]

I have smutty dreams about Lynn Redgrave. And her sister's not so bad, either.

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

Aha! I had to look her up, but now that I have I remember who she is.

[shoeless-girl.livejournal.com]

I think we all have those sort of days hon - hope you're feeling better now.
I don't have any beauty tips, but drinking lots of water does wonders for your skin and body :)
Also... I checked online, and I don't think Sigourney Weaver has had plastic surgery. She's in her mid 50s and is super-hot :)

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

I'm feeling fine now, yeah - it was just a silly mood. Water's probably a good part of the problem - I keep losing my water bottles and forgetting to buy new ones. And I've probably had a bit too much caffeine recently.

I'd forgotten all about Sigourney Weaver! *Adds her to the mental list*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_hannelore/]

Helen Mirren. Intelligence is dead sexy.

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

Yes, it is!

[shadawyn.livejournal.com]

We all go through it. *hugs from one of the freaking out 25 year olds* Physically, mentally...

My dad says life doesn't start until 40. Sometimes I think he has a point. When I'm feeling old, I try to think in terms of 100 years. I'm only a quarter of the way through. 40 seems old, but it's not even halfway. We've got a long, long way to go in life.

But responsibility comes already, and so does growing up. Just hold on to your dreams, work towards them, and rememeber that you are never too old if you are doing what you want with the time you have, and making the moments worth it.

And remember that we change as we grow older. The things we want now are not always the things we want in 20 years. Keep an eye on the future, realize "well, I should have done that..." is inevitable, and enjoy the now for what it's worth--everything.

You will always be beautiful it the eyes of those who matter.

[narsilion.livejournal.com]

again, so wise so well put. I'm so thrilled that she has such wonderful friends!

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

*Hugs* Your dad's probably right, in a lot of ways. Our culture has such a built-in bias toward youth that it's hard to remember that sometimes, though. Gotta work against it.

Thanks so much, Anne. Although you'd better watch out, now that I know you give intelligent advice in the face of this kind of thing... ;)

[shadawyn.livejournal.com]

I came to the conclusion that we're going to spend a lot of time as "old" in our culture. Even after 50, health be blessed, you're getting grey and wrinkled, maybe a grandmother, and your are only halfway through life ;)

I think I tend to see in terms of "how much time do I have left on this world?" more than anything else.