argh

[rivendellrose]

I hate money. Or, more specifically, I hate worrying about money.

I'm one of those people who panics if they don't have a few thousand dollars of cushion room in their bank account. No, seriously. It freaks me out. And this summer, I've been lazy. And I'm paying for it now, because my financial aid took a nose-dive this year and, in my last damned month living here, we got our bi-monthly utilities bill (water, sewage, etc) and it was frigging astronomical. Like, so bad we were at first convinced that there had been some horrible mix-up. Like they'd mistaken us for a family of twelve yuppies who watered their precious lawn every day.

Intellectually, I know I still have a decent amount of money. I also know that work is going to pick up a bit in a few weeks, and then a lot after that, and that I'll probably be taking on a second job soon, working for that catering company my dad keeps telling me about. Everything will be fine, I tell myself. If nothing else, you know that your parents won't let you go under, even if that's not halfway as cool as the whole "I got myself through college almost on my own" thing I had going the past two years. Still, I keep getting nervous and guilty and upset whenever I think about it.

And, for the first time, I had to take out a loan. Great. So, in addition to trying to figure out what the hell I'm doing after I graduate, I have to figure out "how the hell will I live *and* pay back my debt?" Yet another reason I wish I was in a major where my post-school career was obvious--I mean, seriously. Nobody runs around asking architecture majors, "So, what are you planning to do with that?" No, no, no... it's just us sad humanities shmucks.

Obviously, I am feeling somewhat sorry for myself tonight. Really, I'm not as bad as I sound--I just need to vent.

Just be glad I'm not going off about my writing (or lack thereof.) Now *there* is a rant that nobody wants to hear.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

OUCH! how bad WAS your utilities bill, are you guys sure it's not a mistake? You guys have had that leak also, so you might want to check into that also.
Not fun! Love ya, Mom

[spazzychic.livejournal.com]

Lady, I want your money problems. *hugs* The nice thing about being broke is I can't even afford to pay attention to it.

[theladyfeylene.livejournal.com]

::Hugs:: Money issues can be scary. When Kitten and I lived together there were some tough times. But they *do* get better, just hang in there!