morning

[rivendellrose]

Good things:
New dishwasher in the office
Good book to read on the bus
Plenty of sleep last night
Lots of really wonderful and wise friends
Thai leftovers for lunch!
Looking at my student loans and realizing "hey... that's not too bad!"
New icon :D
Added: ooo, I forgot - I'm wearing the prettiest hand-made lace choker, which the talented and lovely maymargaret gave me!

Bad things:
Finally writing Marc to say this isn't working

Process corollary to above:
Convincing myself that it's not my fault, I'm not messed up, it's okay if it just doesn't work with someone.

Comments

[scearley.livejournal.com]

It's not your fault. Come here and I'll prove it to you.



However - a dishwasher in your office? What???????

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

XD

We have a dishwasher in our office, for all the office coffee cups, bowls, plates, and silverware that people use. But it got very sick last weekend and started spewing foam, so the building manager, rather than have someone look at it, just sent for a new one to be installed.

Posh, no? I have to do the dishes by hand at home, but not here!

[scearley.livejournal.com]

Thinking back I can't say that I've ever had a dishwasher in any office I've worked in. And I've worked for a dishwasher manufacturer (http://www.ge.com).

Ya know someone was giving away a portable dishwasher yesterday on CL. Hm.

[stormkpr.livejournal.com]

It is the little things that count and I love your list of the good.

And ditto what you said about Marc. How can it be your fault if it's not working? Sometimes it just doesn't work. I'm sure you tried. But there's no point in force-fitting something that doesn't fit.

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

I know. I've just had a string of relationships where I felt anything but present and involved, and it's starting to wear on me big time. As I whined to narsilion last night (because I am a mature adult and therefore must call my mummy in a fit of panic when I'm upset....), I'm worried that I have some kind of relationship phobia that keeps me from letting anything work.

Either that or I've just had a string of bad luck, which is what I'm hoping is the case. ;)

[stormkpr.livejournal.com]

Bad luck does happen, and dating isn't easy nowadays. Finding someone you really click with is just plain hard.

For a lark, read "Around the World in 80 Dates". This woman goes on 80 dates and chronicles her experience, but basically the jist is you need to kiss a lot (like dozens, sometimes) of toads before you meet a prince.

[narsilion.livejournal.com]

"because I am a mature adult and therefore must call my mummy in a fit of panic when I'm upset"
It makes your old Muumy still feel needed. I appreciate it!
Thanks !

[reve-lucide.livejournal.com]

So is this bad thing something you've done or something you're going to do at some point?

... it's okay if it just doesn't work with someone.

... just wanted to reiterate that for you, cause it's important. XD

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

I put it off and put it off, but I finally did it today. Which is good, because the last time he called I freaked out and pretty much ran away from the phone (thankfully, we have caller ID).

I know. And I'm trying to be better about remembering that, this time. I have a bad habit of, as soon as I break up with somebody, panicking and thinking that I did the wrong thing and have ruined what was clearly my best/only chance at a good relationship.

...Have I mentioned how neurotic I can be about relationships? XP

[reve-lucide.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it either works or it doesn't. Simple as that, but it's hard to remember sometimes. I'm always trying to tell people that, since, you know, I'm in a relationship where it DID work, and STILL works, and I know the difference ...

... but yeah. Not your fault.

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

I have a bad habit of trying to force things to work, while at the same time backing off because I basically know it's not working. I literally dated this one guy who I knew I didn't like for a couple of months. That wasn't even a "but he's such a great guy," it was more of a... I don't even know what. I guess it was a "he treats me really well and I'm totally confused about everything."

Anyway, learned my lesson from that one, thank goodness.

[reve-lucide.livejournal.com]

Well, if you think about it, most relationships aren't supposed to work out. There are a whole hell of a lot more people out there that you shouldn't and couldn't be with for an extended amount of time than there are people that you could. It's just trial and error, really.

At least you're smart enough to realize when something isn't working. Lots of people just put up with relationships that haven't worked for years ...

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

Very true. I don't know if I believe in the One True Love thing, but... it does seem a heck of a lot more likely that any two randomly selected people will not get along than that they'll fall in love and manage to make things work. It's just such a tedious process. :P

Heh. Yeah, I can... I'm not very good at actually acting on that, but I can figure it out. It takes a long time for me to work up the gumption to actually break things off with somebody. I once dated a guy for more than a month after I'd decided I needed to be away from him, because first it was his birthday, and then I found out he'd already made (big, expensive) plans for my birthday. Gack.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Not everybody is Your One True Love.
It's unfortunate but it's true.
And it looks like a great big list of good things! Yay!

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

It is unfortunate, especially when there's no obvious reason for it not to work. Ah well.

Yay!

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

If love had obvious reasons and made sense, there would be a hell of a lot fewer books about it. (:

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

Very true.

[zinjadu.livejournal.com]

Hey, more good things on the list than bad. That's something. And yay for Thai leftovers. Mmmmm.

Its good that you're not letting things drag out, though.

And hey, stay single and you'll be the crazy cat lady living next door to me, the crazy dog lady. XP

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

Yes! Let's hope I can keep that up through the end of the week! (Do you have to work on the 3rd/4th? If you're free, maybe we should have another impromptu 4th of July party like last year?)

I know. I'm trying not to do that anymore.

I knew there was a good reason for me to stay unattached. After all, the world needs more jaded, eccentric old cat ladies. And gods know I'll have to balance out you and all your dogs and adopted children! XD

[zinjadu.livejournal.com]

*hopehope* For you. No work, but... *flails* I move on the 3rd, and we've got Game on the 4th... >_> Et has been Planned. Um. Thingit. We need to plan something, cause I haven't seen you in a while. Its kinda crazy for me right now, but after the move things are better.

I'm proud of you for that. Its hard, I'm sure.

Indeed! Really, its so that other children will have good stories about the lady down the block. Ha! Yes. My annoying, loud household, upsetting all your prissy cats.

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

No worries. There is girly stuff planned for earlier in the weekend, I think (Terra and possibly Anne and I are going to Bellevue's mall to check out the crazy bath company that Fey's been raving about), but otherwise I'm fairly free in the evenings. We'll have to see about getting together, watching some DVDs or something.

Eh. It's only really hard when I've got the whole "I really ought to like this guy" thing going. Marc was very cute, quite funny... hell, he even had the slightly surly "I can't tell what he's thinking" thing down, and had a horribly cute nose. You'd think I'd be all over him, but nooooo. My brain is contrary that way. :P

Admit it, you just want your kids to be the only ones on the block who don't think I'm the wicked witch who'll cast a spell on people and eat them if they walk on her grass.

[zinjadu.livejournal.com]

Okay! Yeah. That sounds good. We could watch some more Babaylon 5. ^_^ And have fun being all girly. Ew girly.

Maybe this means you've come to like the dorks, and leave the bad, surly men behind. =D

So you got me. You win a prize. But think of it! They'd be able to say the Witch is on their side and can curse whoever crosses them. They'll be lovely little terrors.

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

Yay for the girly stuff. We can't help liking smelly-pretty things!

I like dorks, I just also like a dose of slightly smoldery. You know, the Darcy type. Totally cool exterior, total spaz when you get past the surface. *g*

Exactly! Ye gods, just imagine if Fey is around, too... heh. We'd be the Wicked Witches of the East and the West! Except with a scooter instead of a bicycle. XD

[zinjadu.livejournal.com]

Tch. As long as I don't smell bad, I don't bother.

... What woman doesn't want Darcy?

Ha! I can just see it now. She'd totally be the Granny Weatherwax of the neighborhood.

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

Apparently, my friend ursule - she swears she prefers Bingley - and my other friend hermionesviolin, who says it proves she's a bad English major. *Shrugs* But dude... Darcy! He is the love!

She would. Which reminds me that we someday need to get that whole dressing-up-as-the-Three thing worked out. We should do that. Because it'd be awesome beyond words.

[zinjadu.livejournal.com]

Darcy is the love. But then, Bingley needs love too. He's such a puppy.

Yes. Yes we do.

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

I would happily take either of them. XD

*Plots* I think I'm actually just looking forward to getting the costumes all worked out for everybody. I have a lot of fun ideas.

[zinjadu.livejournal.com]

Well, yes. ^_^

Ooooo... like what? I wanna know.

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

Well, for you I'm thinking of making a crown of faux fruit, maybe some grains if I can find something to either suitably simulate that look or something real that's close enough for jazz. And definitely a lot of warm, rich colors, maybe something tailored to emphasize the cleavage and hips if you'll allow it. ;)

It's hard to say what to do with Fey, but I'm think stark black, with maybe some gray, and a classic witch's hat. Which'd really make her look tall. And of course her cane.

For me, I'm thinking just a plain, gauzy sort of gown in either white or a pale green or blue, maybe some white ribbons in my hair, and flowers either in a crown or, if I can manage it, braided into my hair and such. Bare feet, unless we have to go outside.

[zinjadu.livejournal.com]

Oooo... we will looks spiffy, yes we will.

[sigelphoenix.livejournal.com]

Re: relationship phobia.

Once again, I really connect to what you're saying. I've theorized to myself that one of the reasons I took so long to notice Sean as anything more than a friend is that I subconsciously knew it could actually work with him. I was in that stage when I thought schoolgirl crushing was the only way to be interested, being excited about someone had to mean something akin to terror, and it didn't really occur to me to look for the possibility of having a settled relationship. (Which is kind of sad, but I console myself by reminding myself that my dating life was still in the early development stage at that point.)

At the same time ... When it happened, it happened, and I couldn't really ignore it. So even if, maybe, you're subconsciously avoiding relationships, you'll still be able to recognize a real connection if it's there. You won't have to try hard to find it.

I don't know if this makes much sense, because I just donated blood and am kind of loopy in the head. :P But what I mean to say is - I think you're fine!

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

I guess, in the end, I'm not sure I've really gotten past the schoolgirl crush thing, either - my relationships have tended to be pretty short-lived, even when I was fairly confident that they were serious. I've been looking for something serious for quite a while, and I think that's part of how I got messed up in the head on the whole thing. I somehow got the impression, there for a while, that if I was looking for an 'adult' relationship, it would be something that I might not necessarily feel immediately.

Thank you, and don't worry, you're making perfect sense. It's just the kind of thing that has to wait for the right moment, that's all.

[cassildra.livejournal.com]

*snug* You'll be okay. Dating's just messy and (obviously) very emotional. It's what happens.

if y'need me to call sometime, lemme know! I'll check my email a couple times a night, 'kay?

[narsilion.livejournal.com]

Good book to read on the bus Does that mean that your copy of Smoke and Ashes is in? It's really good!