short and pointless fic
Aug. 14th, 2008 10:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rivendellroseCompletely random fic. It just sort of attacked me.
Fandom: Hellboy
Characters: Abe, Liz, Hellboy
Summary: After leaving the BPRD, our heroes have to make certain sacrifices to ensure the household runs smoothly. Some sacrifices, however, come with problems of their own...
Title: "It's the Most Important Meal of the Day"
Notes: I don't own it, I don't make money off it, and lately it seems like I don't even control it. Oh, and the text from the box of fish food is real, more or less - I snaffled it from PetCo.com, if I remember correctly.
Liz insisted that they all eat breakfast. It was one of the few rules she’d instituted after she, Hellboy, and Abe all moved into a slightly dubious old rental house together, after leaving the Bureau, but she took it seriously. The doctor she’d visited for her pre-natal exam had been quite firm on the idea of three full, balanced meals a day, and Liz was not one to suffer on her own.
Hellboy had no trouble with the theory, having always been fond of sugared cereals, pancakes, and other traditional breakfast foods. Abe, on the other hand, had encountered a bit of difficulty in finding something he could eat that would not offend his meal-time companions.
“No rotten eggs,” Liz had insisted. “The smell of them makes me sick, and I’ve got enough nausea right now, as it is.” Cabbage had earned him no argument, but a vegetarian-only diet didn’t seem to sit well with his stomach, and he’d craved more variety. Dried squid bits from the local Japanese import market added a pleasant zest, but the added salt worried him somewhat, and they weren’t cheap. The same was true for the tiny, freeze-dried, whole crab from the same store. Live food was simply out of the question, as was anything as expensive as frozen shrimp - household finances were tight enough to begin with, and stretched to the limit by the combination of Red’s seemingly-endless appetite, and Liz’s significantly increased metabolism as she attempted to eat for two growing fetuses as well as herself. So, Abe had enlisted Liz for a bit of research and reconnaisance at, he was embarrassed to admit, the local pet store.
“Got ‘em,” Liz announced triumphantly, as she returned from a grocery and supply run the next day... and a large bottle of fish-flakes had taken up residence on the top shelf in the kitchen, alongside the breakfast cereals.
The next morning, Abe got out of the tub early, and after turning on the coffee-pot for Liz and Red, took down the canister of flakes, a cereal bowl, and a spoon. Try to look at it as a new experience, he told himself.
Promotes brilliant color, the label read. Helps reduce stress and improves resistance to disease!
Well... that couldn’t be a bad thing... could it? He decided it was best to ignore the “keeps your pond fish in top condition” text, for the sake of his own pride.
But they looked a little... dry, just sitting there in the bowl. Difficult to eat. Well... they were meant to be dropped into a tank, weren’t they? He wasn’t about to sprinkle them in the bathtub with him, but if he put water in the bowl and ate them with a spoon, that should work...
He had just added the water when he heard Liz calling from the downstairs bedroom. Since her pregnancy had advanced past the third month, she was beginning to get sick in the mornings, and sometimes needed help. Since he’d heard Red stumble out to the downstairs bathroom and turn on the shower a few moments before, that left him alone to assist. Leaving his breakfast til later, Abe padded out of the kitchen to see what his friend needed.
A few moments passed quietly in the kitchen as the fish-flakes softened soundlessly in the bowl. A few more moments, and Hellboy stepped out of the downstairs bathroom, a heavy-duty terry-cloth bathrobe cinched around his waist. The brightly colored flakes in the bowl on the table had congealed into a festive-looking mush. “Hey,” he remarked. “New cereal.” He picked up the spoon and took a healthy mouthful.
Once the shouting, cursing, and chugging of coffee were all over, all three friends agreed that Abe should be henceforth exempt from the communal breakfast table.
Fandom: Hellboy
Characters: Abe, Liz, Hellboy
Summary: After leaving the BPRD, our heroes have to make certain sacrifices to ensure the household runs smoothly. Some sacrifices, however, come with problems of their own...
Title: "It's the Most Important Meal of the Day"
Notes: I don't own it, I don't make money off it, and lately it seems like I don't even control it. Oh, and the text from the box of fish food is real, more or less - I snaffled it from PetCo.com, if I remember correctly.
Liz insisted that they all eat breakfast. It was one of the few rules she’d instituted after she, Hellboy, and Abe all moved into a slightly dubious old rental house together, after leaving the Bureau, but she took it seriously. The doctor she’d visited for her pre-natal exam had been quite firm on the idea of three full, balanced meals a day, and Liz was not one to suffer on her own.
Hellboy had no trouble with the theory, having always been fond of sugared cereals, pancakes, and other traditional breakfast foods. Abe, on the other hand, had encountered a bit of difficulty in finding something he could eat that would not offend his meal-time companions.
“No rotten eggs,” Liz had insisted. “The smell of them makes me sick, and I’ve got enough nausea right now, as it is.” Cabbage had earned him no argument, but a vegetarian-only diet didn’t seem to sit well with his stomach, and he’d craved more variety. Dried squid bits from the local Japanese import market added a pleasant zest, but the added salt worried him somewhat, and they weren’t cheap. The same was true for the tiny, freeze-dried, whole crab from the same store. Live food was simply out of the question, as was anything as expensive as frozen shrimp - household finances were tight enough to begin with, and stretched to the limit by the combination of Red’s seemingly-endless appetite, and Liz’s significantly increased metabolism as she attempted to eat for two growing fetuses as well as herself. So, Abe had enlisted Liz for a bit of research and reconnaisance at, he was embarrassed to admit, the local pet store.
“Got ‘em,” Liz announced triumphantly, as she returned from a grocery and supply run the next day... and a large bottle of fish-flakes had taken up residence on the top shelf in the kitchen, alongside the breakfast cereals.
The next morning, Abe got out of the tub early, and after turning on the coffee-pot for Liz and Red, took down the canister of flakes, a cereal bowl, and a spoon. Try to look at it as a new experience, he told himself.
Promotes brilliant color, the label read. Helps reduce stress and improves resistance to disease!
Well... that couldn’t be a bad thing... could it? He decided it was best to ignore the “keeps your pond fish in top condition” text, for the sake of his own pride.
But they looked a little... dry, just sitting there in the bowl. Difficult to eat. Well... they were meant to be dropped into a tank, weren’t they? He wasn’t about to sprinkle them in the bathtub with him, but if he put water in the bowl and ate them with a spoon, that should work...
He had just added the water when he heard Liz calling from the downstairs bedroom. Since her pregnancy had advanced past the third month, she was beginning to get sick in the mornings, and sometimes needed help. Since he’d heard Red stumble out to the downstairs bathroom and turn on the shower a few moments before, that left him alone to assist. Leaving his breakfast til later, Abe padded out of the kitchen to see what his friend needed.
A few moments passed quietly in the kitchen as the fish-flakes softened soundlessly in the bowl. A few more moments, and Hellboy stepped out of the downstairs bathroom, a heavy-duty terry-cloth bathrobe cinched around his waist. The brightly colored flakes in the bowl on the table had congealed into a festive-looking mush. “Hey,” he remarked. “New cereal.” He picked up the spoon and took a healthy mouthful.
Once the shouting, cursing, and chugging of coffee were all over, all three friends agreed that Abe should be henceforth exempt from the communal breakfast table.
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no subject
Date: 2008-08-15 06:21 am (UTC)I find one of the best things about fanfic are the little details about everyday life. Just reading the musings of Abe's diet were pretty interesting and the fish flakes were classic.
I love:
Promotes brilliant color[...]
Well... that couldn’t be a bad thing... could it?
I imagine Abe with a bright blue crest like a beta fish suddenly... XD Well done!
no subject
Date: 2008-08-15 06:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-15 02:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-15 02:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-15 03:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-15 03:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-15 03:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-15 03:56 pm (UTC)I keep picturing him 'blushing,' with those pinkish patches around the gills going absolutely fluorescent...
no subject
Date: 2008-08-24 08:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-24 05:51 pm (UTC)