i have a grapefruit spoon with these peoples' names on it

[rivendellrose]

Apparently some folks over at Conservapedia have decided that the Bible isn't conservative enough for them, so they're rewriting it. Their upset? Apparently there's no Bible translation that fits their ten guidelines, including:

1.Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias
2.Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity
[...]
7.Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning
8.Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story

That last one really gets me. Oh, those godless, liberal 4th century Romans, throwing their modern ideas into the Bible! Curse them for the horrible, liberal-minded modernists that they were!

Have I mentioned how religious people frequently terrify me with their complete lack of fear of blasphemy? Dudes, if I believed in your god, I would be afraid to stand within a hundred miles of you. Because I'm pretty sure that, taking from literary precedent, most gods really don't like it when you change what they say to suit your purposes. How can people who purport to believe in a god believe that they can fuck around with his/her/its words without literally quaking in their fucking boots? Oh, wait - I forgot that people like this are so fucking arrogant that they can't conceive of the possibility that they wouldn't be right. Seriously - as a pagan, I feared to speak a single ill word against a god or power. Where do these people get the balls to change their own god's words without fear of retribution, if that's what they really think the Bible is? Where the hell do they get off? And can I help them remove it, preferably by the judicious use of a grapefruit spoon applied to delicate and personal areas?

Fuck that. I almost hope there is a god. Because if there is, these jackasses are in a lot more trouble than I, basic plain old quiet non-believer, am. The words "special hell" come to mind.

Comments

[dreamstrifer.livejournal.com]

As a Christian myself, it freaking terrifies me that these people are so arrogant as to assume that they know the thoughts of God. Because seriously? No. Nooooo. *runs away from those who make Christians look like a bunch of ignorant bitches*

[babel.livejournal.com]

*blinks at #2* Wait, since when is there a unisex, gender inclusive translation of the Bible? And if there is, do they realize that the Greek may be unclear as far as the genders of large groups? Because any group of people with a male in it was called by a masculine adjective/noun, but that's not how English works, so...

Actually, I bet they aren't even going to translate it from Greek, so why am I even bothering? This is just a big internal crisis that some conservative had when they realized that the hippie on the corner is exactly what Jesus was like.

[becksbooks.livejournal.com]

Wow. Just...wow. WTF is wrong with people?

I mean, I know the Bible has been translated upmteen times, with books added or removed, but this...this just takes the cake. They're not even trying to pretend that they had a message from God. It's ballsy to re-write a holy text just because you don't like it.

[narsilion.livejournal.com]

I don't even begin to know what to say!
Thanks for the link.