A Drop of Oil
Oct. 18th, 2004 09:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rivendellroseLargely thanks to the request of a few of the kind people who commented on Pre-Dawn Etude, here is a sequel. Like its predecessor, this is not a happy fic.
Title - A Drop of Oil
Setting - Harry Potter
Pairing - Snape/Lupin
Rating - PG-13, for language
Disclaimer - I don't own them, and I certainly make no money at this.
Thanks to Fey, and to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nasty_shrew for saying I should write this. ;)
Another day, another night, another handful of galleons and bag of leftovers from the restaurant. Remus had worked a lot of jobs, and this one wasn't bad, as they went. The customers were upper working-class - sometimes coarse, sometimes overbearing, often stingy with tips - but his co-workers were nice, and the waitresses had adopted him, to an extent. He supposed he cut a rather pitiful figure.
That was probably why none of the other workers complained when they saw that he took home carefully sealed containers of leftover soup, day-old bread, and things like that at the end of the day. He was a growing boy, still, he heard one of the waitresses comment. What they didn't realize was that the leftovers were feeding not one but two.
"Severus? I'm home..."
The former Slytherin perched on the edge of their futon, mincing tamarind pods and carefully sweeping the fine bits into a jar labelled in his tight, angular handwriting. "That's good. I was wondering if they'd ever let you off."
"No late work tonight? They've been overworking you."
"No, not tonight." Severus finished the last bits and sealed the jar, then set it on the shelf above his cramped worktable. He muttered a spell to clean the tabletop, then turned to Remus. "Oh, food?"
"Couple rolls and some soup."
"What kind?"
Remus set the bag down on the little coffee table beside the futon and went to get spoons. "Vegetable minestrone."
Severus opened the containers and sniffed at the soup, nodding. "You should be eating something heavier, this close to the moon."
"The split pea with ham was gone before eight. The cook never makes enough."
Severus snorted, but cast a warming charm on the soup and accepted the spoon Remus held out to him. They ate in silence, and Remus felt guilty for missing the lively chatter that had always surrounded meals with his friends, back in school.
"Rent's due next week."
That wasn't exactly the conversation topic Remus was hoping for. "I know. We'll be fine."
"It'll be tight."
"I'm not spending anything that isn't absolutely necessary."
"I didn't say you were." Severus sopped up some of the dregs wih half a roll. "Just thinking aloud. Tomorrow's going to be a late night for me, so don't expect to see me."
The bowl wiped almost clean with bits of bread, Severus took both their spoons and the bowl over to the rusty tap, while Remus got their blankets from the old school trunk shoved under the futon. A sudden cry of pain from Severus, followed immediately by a shattering crash of crockery, made him straighten so fast he almost hit his head on the table. "Severus, are you alright?"
"I'm fine," his lover snapped.
"What happened? Did you cut yourself?"
Severus bent, sweeping the shards of pottery into the rubbish with an old newspaper. "No. The bandage on that burn was pulling the wound."
Remus crossed the room, touching Severus' left forearm with gentle fingers. "It should be healed by now... let me look at it, Severus. I know I'm not much with potions, but I've got some skill with mediwizardry. At the very least you should change the bandage and put some ointment on it, if it's still bothering you..."
"I changed it this morning, it's fine. It's a bad burn, it'll take time to heal."
"Just let me look," Remus insisted, pushing up the sleeve of Severus' black sweater and starting to untie the bandage.
"NO!" Severus wrenched his arm away, snarling at the other boy. "Don't touch it, Lupin."
Remus blinked, his surname burning like an acid in his throat. "You haven't called me Lupin in years. What the hell is the matter with you, tonight? I just want to check the burn."
"Well, I don't want you to. I should think that would be clear. Just drop it and go to sleep."
"You've been so distant lately, Severus, I don't know what to--"
"Would you stop being such a snivelling little git and just shut your bloody mouth, Lupin? Get it through your thick skull - I am not letting you look at my stupid arm. Go to sleep."
Even when interactions of this variety were the norm between them, Severus' tone would have bitten at Remus' heart. After years without hearing that caustic tone or seeing the bitter anger in Severus' eyes, Remus no longer had his old defenses against them. He sat mechanically on the edge of the futon and stared into space, stunned, while Severus went about his quiet evening preparations behind him.
After a long moment, he felt Severus settle onto the futon beside him, shifting the blankets over himself as he lay down. "I'm sorry, Remus. I just don't want to deal with it, alright? Just come to bed."
"I don't understand. You've seen me at my absolute worst, Severus. Every month since the fall when we were seventeen, you've put up with rubbing ointments into my joints and bandaging all the gashes and bites and all that I give myself. But this one little thing, you won't let me even look at. And then you say those things... Merlin, Severus, if you're sick of me, just fucking tell me."
"I'm not sick of you."
"Well, then what is it? Why are you so tetchy lately? You've been working late almost every night, lately, and... Severus, I smelled blood on you last night. You shiver and cry out at night like you're having nightmares, but when I wake you up, you say you can't remember them. What the hell is going on?"
"Nothing, Remus. Nothing I can talk about."
"I didn't think we had secrets."
"You were wrong."
Remus shook his head. "I don't understand you right now."
"Just go to sleep, Lupin. Or leave and go stay with Black, if you want - you know he'd let you stay with him. He'd be thrilled to have you away from me, I'm sure. It must drive him mad, knowing you're here living in squalor with me when he's offered time and again to have you live in that nice flat with him."
"Stop that." Remus squeezed the heels of his hands against his eyes. "Just go to sleep, alright, Severus? Just... go to sleep. Forget it."
Severus eyed him suspiciously for a moment, then rolled over with his back to Remus and turned out the light. Remus lay down as well, and, after a few minutes of misgiving, nestled against Severus' back and pressed a soft kiss to his shoulder before settling against the pillow to sleep.
His usual easy sleep evaded him, however, and he found himself wide awake, again, a few hours later. Severus was sprawled in a pool of almost-full moonlight, his right arm curled against his chest and his left arm splayed out across his pillow. The bandage almost seemed to glow in the blue-white light of the moon, beackoning to Remus. Severus wouldn't know... this close to the moon, Remus could move so carefully as to neither be heard nor felt by Severus, and just pull aside the bandage enough to see, just to check that it was healing properly. Merlin knew Severus was proud enough to let the thing fester and poison him rather than ask for help.
With the grace and smooth movements of the predator at the core of his soul, Remus crept over to Severus' side of the futon, and carefully peeled back first one layer, then two, then three, and finally the bottom swath of gauze, revealing to the pure white moon something darker and more dangerous than any burn. A whimper rose in the throat of the werewolf, and he fell back against the bed, forgetting to be quiet or careful in his shock. No wizard of his generation could fail to recognize the symbol burned into his lover's skin.
The Dark Mark's death head laughed at him, sticking out its snake-tongue in vicious mockery.
"Remus, what the... Bloody hell, Remus. You just had to, didn't you."
"You... Severus, why?"
"I don't want to talk about this right now."
"Why the fuck would you do this, Severus? They've been killing people, haven't you... the blood. Severus, you've been..." Remus' voice broke, unable to continue.
"Leave, then." Severus lay back, and stared up at the ceiling.
A choked sob tried to work its way out of Remus' throat. "That's it, then. You won't even defend your decision, or try to explain."
"I can't, Remus. It won't change anything to try to explain. Just leave. Go find Black."
Remus stood, throwing his jacket over his pyjamas and stuffing a change of clothes into his knapsack. He gritted his teeth as he pulled his shoes on. He wasn't going to cry. Not here, not now. The walk to the door of the little flat had never seemed so long, and he paused at the door, not wanting to cross the threshhold. That was the kind of movement that held a certainty he didn't want to consider, just now.
"I don't want Sirius," he whispered. "I never did. I wanted you." He started to say more, then bit his lip and turned, pushing out the door and shutting it behind him, murmuring the charm that locked their door.
For tonight, he would go to his parents'. He wasn't ready to deal with the questions and unspoken I-told-you-so's from the Marauders. He wasn't ready for the questions, for wondering where he would stay and when he would go back to get the few possessions he had at their flat.
Most of all, he wasn't ready to admit that he'd left, or that Severus hadn't seemed to care.
Title - A Drop of Oil
Setting - Harry Potter
Pairing - Snape/Lupin
Rating - PG-13, for language
Disclaimer - I don't own them, and I certainly make no money at this.
Thanks to Fey, and to
nasty_shrew for saying I should write this. ;) Another day, another night, another handful of galleons and bag of leftovers from the restaurant. Remus had worked a lot of jobs, and this one wasn't bad, as they went. The customers were upper working-class - sometimes coarse, sometimes overbearing, often stingy with tips - but his co-workers were nice, and the waitresses had adopted him, to an extent. He supposed he cut a rather pitiful figure.
That was probably why none of the other workers complained when they saw that he took home carefully sealed containers of leftover soup, day-old bread, and things like that at the end of the day. He was a growing boy, still, he heard one of the waitresses comment. What they didn't realize was that the leftovers were feeding not one but two.
"Severus? I'm home..."
The former Slytherin perched on the edge of their futon, mincing tamarind pods and carefully sweeping the fine bits into a jar labelled in his tight, angular handwriting. "That's good. I was wondering if they'd ever let you off."
"No late work tonight? They've been overworking you."
"No, not tonight." Severus finished the last bits and sealed the jar, then set it on the shelf above his cramped worktable. He muttered a spell to clean the tabletop, then turned to Remus. "Oh, food?"
"Couple rolls and some soup."
"What kind?"
Remus set the bag down on the little coffee table beside the futon and went to get spoons. "Vegetable minestrone."
Severus opened the containers and sniffed at the soup, nodding. "You should be eating something heavier, this close to the moon."
"The split pea with ham was gone before eight. The cook never makes enough."
Severus snorted, but cast a warming charm on the soup and accepted the spoon Remus held out to him. They ate in silence, and Remus felt guilty for missing the lively chatter that had always surrounded meals with his friends, back in school.
"Rent's due next week."
That wasn't exactly the conversation topic Remus was hoping for. "I know. We'll be fine."
"It'll be tight."
"I'm not spending anything that isn't absolutely necessary."
"I didn't say you were." Severus sopped up some of the dregs wih half a roll. "Just thinking aloud. Tomorrow's going to be a late night for me, so don't expect to see me."
The bowl wiped almost clean with bits of bread, Severus took both their spoons and the bowl over to the rusty tap, while Remus got their blankets from the old school trunk shoved under the futon. A sudden cry of pain from Severus, followed immediately by a shattering crash of crockery, made him straighten so fast he almost hit his head on the table. "Severus, are you alright?"
"I'm fine," his lover snapped.
"What happened? Did you cut yourself?"
Severus bent, sweeping the shards of pottery into the rubbish with an old newspaper. "No. The bandage on that burn was pulling the wound."
Remus crossed the room, touching Severus' left forearm with gentle fingers. "It should be healed by now... let me look at it, Severus. I know I'm not much with potions, but I've got some skill with mediwizardry. At the very least you should change the bandage and put some ointment on it, if it's still bothering you..."
"I changed it this morning, it's fine. It's a bad burn, it'll take time to heal."
"Just let me look," Remus insisted, pushing up the sleeve of Severus' black sweater and starting to untie the bandage.
"NO!" Severus wrenched his arm away, snarling at the other boy. "Don't touch it, Lupin."
Remus blinked, his surname burning like an acid in his throat. "You haven't called me Lupin in years. What the hell is the matter with you, tonight? I just want to check the burn."
"Well, I don't want you to. I should think that would be clear. Just drop it and go to sleep."
"You've been so distant lately, Severus, I don't know what to--"
"Would you stop being such a snivelling little git and just shut your bloody mouth, Lupin? Get it through your thick skull - I am not letting you look at my stupid arm. Go to sleep."
Even when interactions of this variety were the norm between them, Severus' tone would have bitten at Remus' heart. After years without hearing that caustic tone or seeing the bitter anger in Severus' eyes, Remus no longer had his old defenses against them. He sat mechanically on the edge of the futon and stared into space, stunned, while Severus went about his quiet evening preparations behind him.
After a long moment, he felt Severus settle onto the futon beside him, shifting the blankets over himself as he lay down. "I'm sorry, Remus. I just don't want to deal with it, alright? Just come to bed."
"I don't understand. You've seen me at my absolute worst, Severus. Every month since the fall when we were seventeen, you've put up with rubbing ointments into my joints and bandaging all the gashes and bites and all that I give myself. But this one little thing, you won't let me even look at. And then you say those things... Merlin, Severus, if you're sick of me, just fucking tell me."
"I'm not sick of you."
"Well, then what is it? Why are you so tetchy lately? You've been working late almost every night, lately, and... Severus, I smelled blood on you last night. You shiver and cry out at night like you're having nightmares, but when I wake you up, you say you can't remember them. What the hell is going on?"
"Nothing, Remus. Nothing I can talk about."
"I didn't think we had secrets."
"You were wrong."
Remus shook his head. "I don't understand you right now."
"Just go to sleep, Lupin. Or leave and go stay with Black, if you want - you know he'd let you stay with him. He'd be thrilled to have you away from me, I'm sure. It must drive him mad, knowing you're here living in squalor with me when he's offered time and again to have you live in that nice flat with him."
"Stop that." Remus squeezed the heels of his hands against his eyes. "Just go to sleep, alright, Severus? Just... go to sleep. Forget it."
Severus eyed him suspiciously for a moment, then rolled over with his back to Remus and turned out the light. Remus lay down as well, and, after a few minutes of misgiving, nestled against Severus' back and pressed a soft kiss to his shoulder before settling against the pillow to sleep.
His usual easy sleep evaded him, however, and he found himself wide awake, again, a few hours later. Severus was sprawled in a pool of almost-full moonlight, his right arm curled against his chest and his left arm splayed out across his pillow. The bandage almost seemed to glow in the blue-white light of the moon, beackoning to Remus. Severus wouldn't know... this close to the moon, Remus could move so carefully as to neither be heard nor felt by Severus, and just pull aside the bandage enough to see, just to check that it was healing properly. Merlin knew Severus was proud enough to let the thing fester and poison him rather than ask for help.
With the grace and smooth movements of the predator at the core of his soul, Remus crept over to Severus' side of the futon, and carefully peeled back first one layer, then two, then three, and finally the bottom swath of gauze, revealing to the pure white moon something darker and more dangerous than any burn. A whimper rose in the throat of the werewolf, and he fell back against the bed, forgetting to be quiet or careful in his shock. No wizard of his generation could fail to recognize the symbol burned into his lover's skin.
The Dark Mark's death head laughed at him, sticking out its snake-tongue in vicious mockery.
"Remus, what the... Bloody hell, Remus. You just had to, didn't you."
"You... Severus, why?"
"I don't want to talk about this right now."
"Why the fuck would you do this, Severus? They've been killing people, haven't you... the blood. Severus, you've been..." Remus' voice broke, unable to continue.
"Leave, then." Severus lay back, and stared up at the ceiling.
A choked sob tried to work its way out of Remus' throat. "That's it, then. You won't even defend your decision, or try to explain."
"I can't, Remus. It won't change anything to try to explain. Just leave. Go find Black."
Remus stood, throwing his jacket over his pyjamas and stuffing a change of clothes into his knapsack. He gritted his teeth as he pulled his shoes on. He wasn't going to cry. Not here, not now. The walk to the door of the little flat had never seemed so long, and he paused at the door, not wanting to cross the threshhold. That was the kind of movement that held a certainty he didn't want to consider, just now.
"I don't want Sirius," he whispered. "I never did. I wanted you." He started to say more, then bit his lip and turned, pushing out the door and shutting it behind him, murmuring the charm that locked their door.
For tonight, he would go to his parents'. He wasn't ready to deal with the questions and unspoken I-told-you-so's from the Marauders. He wasn't ready for the questions, for wondering where he would stay and when he would go back to get the few possessions he had at their flat.
Most of all, he wasn't ready to admit that he'd left, or that Severus hadn't seemed to care.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-10-18 10:17 pm (UTC)Very well written though. I'm terrible at reviews. I liked it though, even if it did elicit the above reaction. See, now there has to be another sequal. *pokes you*
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Date: 2004-10-18 10:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-18 10:34 pm (UTC)This was really beautifully written. I read the first story and it was good and painful. This one takes the cake! The pain and sadness. I hope you continue with this.
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Date: 2004-10-18 10:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-18 11:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-18 11:13 pm (UTC)Don't worry, the third and (probably) final piece will be coming soon, I hope.
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Date: 2004-10-19 03:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-19 12:50 pm (UTC)Midterms are next week, but I'm still hoping to get the next chapter out fairly quickly!
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Date: 2004-10-19 07:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-19 12:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-19 08:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-19 11:44 am (UTC)Once I realized how Remus was going to figure it out, the title just came to me. Thanks! There will definitely be continuation-ness - I'm way too much of a sap to leave the story at this awful an ending. ;)
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Date: 2004-12-12 01:56 pm (UTC)*sob*