rivendellrose | correction on fic

So, I'm kind of glad that I sometimes feel the need to look back over old fic-posts... because sometimes I discover some kind of insane mistake that no one pointed out to me. Seriously, please tell me if you ever see something in one of my fics that needs fixing - consider this carte blanche for any of you to slam me with the con-crit. I need it sometimes. Probably a lot of the time.

And so, because it'll bother me until I re-post this properly... #4 from the Music Fic thing a while ago, which somehow got cut off in the middle of a sentence only half-way through. :P

4. La Vie Boheme - RENT
To going against the grain,
Going insane, going mad -
To loving tension, no pension...

“Can’t catch me! Can’t catch me!”

River moved as though trying to live up to her namesake - swift and bubbling, it seemed that nothing could dam up her energy. She and Kaylee would both be exhausted when they gave up, and Simon and Inara watched them, laughing in their quiet, polite way. Their pleasure in the moment was almost indecent, entirely alive and improper, and Inara found herself jealous of the girls’ complete lack of inhibitions. Freedom raced past her, giggling and shouting half-meant threats of tickling and stealing away a share of the fruit bought with the money from their last take. She glanced at Simon to check his reaction, and found his smile wistful, but honestly happy - something more and more common from him, these days. He was most at his ease watching River express her joy. When River was happy, he could be the same.

Kaylee didn’t have the grace that smoothed River’s every movement - her boots landed heavily, sometimes, others she almost tripped over the edge of a landing or something, but her laughter was wild and so completely at ease, her face so bright and open and flushed that Simon forgot everything else. He reached out and caught her into a hug for a minute, letting River get a few seconds more of a lead in their endless, snaking chase through the ship. Kaylee shrieked and shoved against him, but was laughing too hard to really do any damage with half-teasing pummels against his shoulder. “Let go! You’re cheating!

Simon laughed. “How can I cheat - I’m not playing the game?”

“You’re gonna lose, River, ‘cause your brother’s cheating for you!” Kaylee was laughing too hard for her words to be clear, but a high giggle from the hallway indicated the general idea had gotten across.

Beneath the catwalk, Book glanced up to watch the epic struggle and smiled. “Seems those two might’ve gotten a few things figured out.”

“Took ‘im long enough.” Jayne huffed, pushing another few reps out of the barbell before he passed to the preacher. “For a doctor, he ain’t that bright.”

Book smiled indulgently. “Oh, there’s all sorts of intelligence. And I believe our young doctor is getting a handle on a few of them, as we speak.”

“You two gonna be done jawing at the iron ‘fore we make landfall?”

“We’re nearly finished here,” Book assured the captain as he settled onto the bench.

“Preacher here’s gettin’ too old to take too many reps.” Jayne grinned, flexing his own impressive bicep as if for comparison. Mal looked from one to the other, Jayne following his glance, but he was a bit more disturbed at the similarity than the difference. Book’s arm had more slim sinew than bulk, but tactics made him dislike the fact that he guessed them a fairly even match.

“Still young enough to keep pace with you.” Book laughed, but his eyes were settled firmly on Mal’s. He knew only too well what the captain had been thinking.

“Let’s not put that to the test,” Mal suggested lightly as he headed up the stairs to the catwalk. “I’d hate to explain the outcome, either way.”

“What outcome?”

“Jayne, you causin’ trouble again?”

Mal smiled at Wash and Zoe as they headed in the opposite direction as him, walking down toward the cargo bay with their hands twined and, he noticed, hair quite a bit disheveled. I don’t want to know, he told himself. “Just tellin’ the shepherd I don’t want him testing his strength against Jayne. Last thing we need is to be short a cook… or a mercenary.”

“Might be interesting, sir.” Zoe’s eyes glittered with her usual dry humor. “Get them to wait til we make landfall, we could sell tickets.”

“Can I commentate if we do? I could do some really great commentating, especially if Shepherd Book gets in a few good punches.” Wash is practically glowing, his skin pink and shiny, and Mal doesn’t like much to think how that happened.

“I’ll take it under consideration.”

“Good way to get some extra cash,” Wash agreed before tugging his wife’s hand, and Mal laughed. So long as the mental images stayed away, he’s happy for them. He turned away and continued upward as their quiet conversation moved away.

At the top of the stairs, Inara smirked at Mal. “Selling off the crew for extra commission, now?”

“Seems to work well for you.” As he expected, her eyes tighten and her lips press together. The tension wrapped around them, and Mal savored it for a moment. It might be awkward, and he might hate how she looks at him, but it’s easier than the twisting pain when they’re honest, when he remembers that he wants her and can’t have her, that she wants him but won’t let go.

“You might find that your skills as a businessman aren’t quite up to it,” Inara snapped.

And the descent begins. Insults and tired arguments rehashed, it won’t ever end. At least Mal hoped it wouldn’t.

From a perch high above them, where thank heaven no one had yet noticed she’d tucked herself, hiding from Kaylee, River smiled. “I know you,” she whispered, and pointed at each in turn. “Thief and king, queen and whore, hero and traitor, shepherd and crook, pilot and jester, soldier and wife.” And she tucked her feet under her and watched.