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rivendellroseI just thought I'd share with you all another piece of nutjob idiocy that I first heard about on The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe a few weeks ago. They're a weekly science and skepticism podcast that deals with science and pseudoscience (and how to determine the difference between the two).
A few weeks ago, they were tipped off on the existence of Power Balance performance technology. If by "performance technology" you mean "neoprene bracelets with holograms on them." Holograms. You know, those things that were really popular on pencils and notebooks and crap back in the 90s? Well, it turns out that you can somehow magically embed them with frequencies, whatever the hell that means. To quote their website, "Power Balance is performance technology that uses holograms embedded with frequencies that react positively with your body’s natural energy field." Translation: Power Balance throws a lot of words we hope will impress you into our marketing material, because we figure you're too stupid to think about what they mean!
Further quote:
'Most everything has a frequency inherent to it. Some frequencies react positively with your body and others negatively. When the hologram comes in contact with your body’s energy field, it allows your body to interact with the natural, beneficial frequency stored within the hologram. This results in improved energy flow throughout your body.'
Um, yeah. Allow me to quote The Princess Bride, since that's an awesome movie that has about as much to do with athletic performance as holograms do: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
According to the Wikipedia entry on 'frequency' "Frequency is the number of occurrences of a repeating event per unit time." You can have a frequency for anything that's periodic. Waves have a frequency. Sound has a frequency. Hell, if you're a woman, your body's cycles have a frequency. I assume that what they're talking about here is some kind of sound frequency but, let's be clear - I'm just guessing, because they never say! this is all they have in their nice little "how it works!" section. And you know, that's all they need. Because it doesn't work. In this video Richard Saunders explains how it doesn't work.
So, let's review. Frequency? Is not a magical thing. You cannot, as far as I am aware, 'embed' frequency into anything except, say, a CD. That doesn't make any sense. Holograms? Are not magic either. They're nifty little toys that scatter light in a particular way so as to show a 3-dimensional image. They're really nifty, but they're not going to somehow make you a better athlete. And $30 for a silicone wristband? Is a total rip-off, no matter how many bullshit testimonials they have on their site.
In something like sports (or, where I learned this, theater) where your results are based on so many variables as to be almost arbitrary on any given day, lucky charms and things will always crop up. I certainly had things like that - when I was in theater, I was somewhat compulsive about wearing particular perfume, and listening to particular music on my headphones while I got ready every night of a performance. It made me feel better about my performance, and feeling better made me perform better. Lucky objects like that are a self-fulfilling prophecy. If I think that the rock I carry in my pocket or the particular perfume before a performance, or wearing my lucky socks on the day of a race, or whatever is lucky or otherwise beneficial to me, it will probably be so. There's no problem with that... as long as you're aware, like Dumbo with the feather, that it's not really the lucky charm that's making you fly.
And also as long as you don't try to sell cheap feathers online for $30 a pop with celebrity endorsements. That makes it wrong, too.
A few weeks ago, they were tipped off on the existence of Power Balance performance technology. If by "performance technology" you mean "neoprene bracelets with holograms on them." Holograms. You know, those things that were really popular on pencils and notebooks and crap back in the 90s? Well, it turns out that you can somehow magically embed them with frequencies, whatever the hell that means. To quote their website, "Power Balance is performance technology that uses holograms embedded with frequencies that react positively with your body’s natural energy field." Translation: Power Balance throws a lot of words we hope will impress you into our marketing material, because we figure you're too stupid to think about what they mean!
Further quote:
'Most everything has a frequency inherent to it. Some frequencies react positively with your body and others negatively. When the hologram comes in contact with your body’s energy field, it allows your body to interact with the natural, beneficial frequency stored within the hologram. This results in improved energy flow throughout your body.'
Um, yeah. Allow me to quote The Princess Bride, since that's an awesome movie that has about as much to do with athletic performance as holograms do: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
According to the Wikipedia entry on 'frequency' "Frequency is the number of occurrences of a repeating event per unit time." You can have a frequency for anything that's periodic. Waves have a frequency. Sound has a frequency. Hell, if you're a woman, your body's cycles have a frequency. I assume that what they're talking about here is some kind of sound frequency but, let's be clear - I'm just guessing, because they never say! this is all they have in their nice little "how it works!" section. And you know, that's all they need. Because it doesn't work. In this video Richard Saunders explains how it doesn't work.
So, let's review. Frequency? Is not a magical thing. You cannot, as far as I am aware, 'embed' frequency into anything except, say, a CD. That doesn't make any sense. Holograms? Are not magic either. They're nifty little toys that scatter light in a particular way so as to show a 3-dimensional image. They're really nifty, but they're not going to somehow make you a better athlete. And $30 for a silicone wristband? Is a total rip-off, no matter how many bullshit testimonials they have on their site.
In something like sports (or, where I learned this, theater) where your results are based on so many variables as to be almost arbitrary on any given day, lucky charms and things will always crop up. I certainly had things like that - when I was in theater, I was somewhat compulsive about wearing particular perfume, and listening to particular music on my headphones while I got ready every night of a performance. It made me feel better about my performance, and feeling better made me perform better. Lucky objects like that are a self-fulfilling prophecy. If I think that the rock I carry in my pocket or the particular perfume before a performance, or wearing my lucky socks on the day of a race, or whatever is lucky or otherwise beneficial to me, it will probably be so. There's no problem with that... as long as you're aware, like Dumbo with the feather, that it's not really the lucky charm that's making you fly.
And also as long as you don't try to sell cheap feathers online for $30 a pop with celebrity endorsements. That makes it wrong, too.
