mental shift
Mar. 15th, 2011 09:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rivendellroseEver have that experience where you're working on writing a (non-original) character you've never written before, but you have a strong mental image of in your head... and about halfway through writing, you think "well, it's been a while, I'd better watch a few clips to make sure I'm getting their voice right and all." So you pop in the DVDs, watch a few bits... and are immediately taken by the shocking realization that although technically your mental image of them was correct, you had somehow completely neglected to remember about a zillion little details about them, and they actually look a hell of a lot different than how you'd been recalling them?
...Yeah. That's what I get for starting to write fic in a fandom I haven't touched in a while without getting the DVDs out first.
The irony is, I'm pretty sure my voice was right all along. I'm just kind of boggled by how wrong my mental image was, physically. Very strange.
Also, I cannot find my home headphones. I know precisely where the pair at work are (on my desk, where they always are), but the pair at home has vanished. So much for my plan of listening to faintly embarrassing YouTube videos and such while I write... of course, at the moment, my brain is still reconstructing what I'm writing and considering the possibility that I have a highly revisionist hind-brain. Seriously, what is it about B5 in particular (for that is the fandom in question) that causes literally everything in it to be remembered in my mind as about 50% more awesome and attractive and visually appealing than it really was? Is it some kind of magic? And, if it is, can I borrow it? I can see how magic like that could come in seriously handy...
And then, if you're me, you're left wandering around vaguely wondering if you've misremembered other things, and muttering things like "I could have sworn he was taller than that." Bit unnerving. ...And very confusing to one's fiance, when one tries to explain why one is wandering around in a vague state of confusion.
What I have decided: is to borrow a line from that beloved children's book, The Velveteen Rabbit, about how when you love something, it's real. When you love something, it's just that much more beautiful in your mind than it "really" is. The sets often appeared to be made of cardboard and the costumes were often couch fabric, especially early on, and the guest actors often chewed the scenery (hell, so did some of the main actors), but I love this damned show so much that in my head, it is absolutely untouchable. In my head, it is myth and legend and sheer beauty. ...Even if, occasionally when I go back and look carefully at the details, the ink is a bit runny and the pages are more than a little careworn. And possibly someone scribbled a bit in the margins. That's okay. It's good. It's been loved.
...Yeah. That's what I get for starting to write fic in a fandom I haven't touched in a while without getting the DVDs out first.
The irony is, I'm pretty sure my voice was right all along. I'm just kind of boggled by how wrong my mental image was, physically. Very strange.
Also, I cannot find my home headphones. I know precisely where the pair at work are (on my desk, where they always are), but the pair at home has vanished. So much for my plan of listening to faintly embarrassing YouTube videos and such while I write... of course, at the moment, my brain is still reconstructing what I'm writing and considering the possibility that I have a highly revisionist hind-brain. Seriously, what is it about B5 in particular (for that is the fandom in question) that causes literally everything in it to be remembered in my mind as about 50% more awesome and attractive and visually appealing than it really was? Is it some kind of magic? And, if it is, can I borrow it? I can see how magic like that could come in seriously handy...
And then, if you're me, you're left wandering around vaguely wondering if you've misremembered other things, and muttering things like "I could have sworn he was taller than that." Bit unnerving. ...And very confusing to one's fiance, when one tries to explain why one is wandering around in a vague state of confusion.
What I have decided: is to borrow a line from that beloved children's book, The Velveteen Rabbit, about how when you love something, it's real. When you love something, it's just that much more beautiful in your mind than it "really" is. The sets often appeared to be made of cardboard and the costumes were often couch fabric, especially early on, and the guest actors often chewed the scenery (hell, so did some of the main actors), but I love this damned show so much that in my head, it is absolutely untouchable. In my head, it is myth and legend and sheer beauty. ...Even if, occasionally when I go back and look carefully at the details, the ink is a bit runny and the pages are more than a little careworn. And possibly someone scribbled a bit in the margins. That's okay. It's good. It's been loved.
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no subject
Date: 2011-03-16 04:51 am (UTC)It's so downright weird. And I would blame nostalgia, but, honestly, I only watched the show for the first time, what, five years ago? Six at the most? So it's not like this big childhood thing that my brain is painting different colors - it's just that it so much captures my brain that it's something of a shock to see, oh my god, it's really obvious that those walls are sponge-painted plywood, and that poor actor keeps creasing his makeup appliance horribly every time he makes an expression at the wrong angle from the light. And I'm pretty sure I saw those lamps at IKEA.