a brief open letter

[rivendellrose]

Women who blithely talk about how much they enjoyed their pregnancy (which they usually went through 10+ years ago if they’re saying that, I notice) should just stfu. Not necessarily because I think they’re lying (spoilers: I totally think they’re either lying or the hormone-induced brain-wipe worked REALLY well on them), but because the rest of us who have kind of frankly miserable pregnancies with all kinds of problems and painful symptoms just don’t want to fucking hear it or even remember having heard it, okay? Just... just don’t.

If your pregnancy really was nine months of unadulterated bliss, good for you. Now screw off and leave the rest of us mere mortals to our suffering.

(Yup, still pregnant. Nope, not at all sure that'll continue as far as tomorrow, let alone 20 more weeks. Why so dismal? When you're already bleeding regularly and at risk for pre-term labor and everybody is like "call the hospital right away if you start getting cramps or more bleeding," and then you get debilitating pains that are almost certainly gas pains but who the hell knows the difference between those and cramps anyway, you have a tendency to panic slightly. Research indicates we are probably not really in crisis mode yet, just... in for another uncomfortable evening of the late 2nd trimester.)

Also, on a related note, gas pains can go jump off a fucking bridge into a volcano.

NOTE: This post is not actually intended as an attack against anybody, and no, I don't actually think anybody should stfu about their pregnancy. Not reeeeally, anyway. I'm just feeling really shitty right now, okay?

Comments

[schnurble]

*hugs*

This is probably not helping you right now, but the hormone-induced brain-wipe is actually a great thing. Thinking about it rationally, I wouldn't say my (high-risk) pregnancy was a walk in the park. But I don't FEEL as if it was hard - it produced a sweet and healthy kid and that's all that counts in the end.

Every trimester is different, so here's hope that you'll feel better soon!

[rivendellrose]

Right now I'd be thrilled if I felt relatively confident (as I did a few days ago) that I'd be making it to the hormone-induced brain-wipe. I mean, I'd still be telling my husband "Remind me how miserable I am right now when, once the kid is a few months old, I start thinking maybe it'd be okay if we had another." But jfc, right now everything's gone all to hell and I'm just like "Fuck it, I just want this one, that's it, just give me THIS ONE, and I will be happy forever."

High-risk pregnancies fucking suck. *hugs*

[schnurble]

*hugs*

[mmegaera]

I want to send you all the comfort in the world.

[rivendellrose]

Thanks! We kind of had a fire drill where some symptoms I'd been warned to call in immediately for showed up today and I was totally freaking out, but... the scan actually came out better than the previous recent ones? So apart from having psychic whiplash and not really quite feeling able to believe good news right now (and, of course, still having gas pains), I'm actually feeling better tonight.

[icepixie]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Thinking sticky thoughts for the baby and escape-y thoughts for the gas!

(P.S. The gas pains from the C. diff after my second surgery? OH MY GOD. Cut-into muscles don't like being stretched, let me tell you. I can imagine muscles already stretched from pregnancy don't like it much either.)

[rivendellrose]

Thanks! Your sticky thoughts seem to have done some good, we had a little bit of a panicked last-minute appointment today due to some brighter-than-usual bleeding that was happening, and... things are actually apparently looking up! Kind of hard to really believe after so much freak-out, but I'll take it!

(...oh my god, gas pains after surgery. Oh my GOD, you poor thing. That is the most horrible thought ever. I'm so sorry you had to go through that!)

[icepixie]

things are actually apparently looking up!

YAY!!!

oh my god, gas pains after surgery.

Yeah. Just...yeah. Honorable mention: That time in the hospital when they made me drink a bottle of magnesium citrate because the senna and milk of magnesia weren't working as fast as they thought they should on post-op constipation. I think I just curled in a ball and waited to die. Bonus, it's terrible for your kidneys and probably contributed to my acute kidney injury!