as red as... what???

[rivendellrose]

So... I have a question. I haven't seen this phenomena for myself, but I'm told by a very reliable source that the description "as red as an emerald" has been turning up in online fiction and character descriptions/profiles lately.

Am I missing something?

I just spent ten minutes digging around the net visiting information sites on semi-precious stones, and I find nothing about emeralds that is even slightly red. Emeralds are a form of beryl. Beryls come in all colors, granted, but emeralds are specifically defined as green or blue-green beryls. There is such a thing as a 'red emerald,' but it is, in fact, simply a red beryl given a name that people uneducated in the study of stones can understand.

Long story short, I'd really like to know how "red as an emerald" means anything other than "not red at all!"

Comments

[onefishjyuufish.livejournal.com]

I'm guessing then that the phrase "red as an emerald" is in fact not being used in reference to things that are, indeed, very un-red? Where is the ruby love, I ask you!

There is such a thing as a 'red emerald,' but it is, in fact, simply a red beryl given a name that people uneducated in the study of stones can understand.

Which makes little sense to me, because why not just call it a beryl? I've known what a beryl is for a long time and I'm not anything when it comes to gemstones. >_> Calling it a "red emerald" is just misleading and confuses everyone involved.

My theory is that this is just one of those things people get in their head and run away with. Like thinking it makes you sound intelligent to call eyes "orbs" or "oculars". So you can come back to a person who questions you on it and say, < snitty faux accent>"Well, actually it means ______, which you would know if you looked it up in the dictionary." </ snitty faux accent>

To which the correct reply is, of course, "Well, I would have looked it up, but the dictionary and the thesaurus have been placed into protective custody after you so ruthlessly raped them and so are, at the moment, unreachable."

Oh, and "labia" is never, ever a synonym for lips, unless you are speaking of the nether sort.

I am getting good at this spamming thing, yes? ;3

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

Oh, and "labia" is never, ever a synonym for lips, unless you are speaking of the nether sort.

Please, by all that is holy in the English language, tell me you did not actually see someone use 'labia' as a synonym for the regular on-one's-face kind of lips? Please???

As for the red emeralds... I know. It's one of those colloquial name type things, I think - kind of like how panda bears are more closely related to a lot of things than bears, and stuff like that. Silly colloquial names.

[onefishjyuufish.livejournal.com]

I did indeed, through bad_rpers_suck when someone linked to a page that, to help out new RPers or those who wanted to sound less "boring", had lists of things to replace common words with. Hence, "oculars" and, yes, "labia". Suggested completely without sarcasm.

I almost pissed myself laughing so hard. As I told someone else, the example sentence they had on the page gave me this terrible image of an onyx-armored knight on a mount black as a crow's wing, staring into the distant fiery sunset with steel gray eyes, his labia pressed into a thin line upon his scarred visage.

[bluerose16.livejournal.com]

...this terrible image of an onyx-armored knight on a mount black as a crow's wing, staring into the distant fiery sunset with steel gray eyes, his labia pressed into a thin line upon his scarred visage.

Dear *GOD* make the bad pictures in my mind go away! I can't believe you're serious! That's really very pathetic.

If I may be permitted a moment of utter horror and disgust: EEEEWWWW!!!!

[onefishjyuufish.livejournal.com]

And is it a colloquial term? Huh. At least a panda could be mistaken for a bear (the only difference being in things that aren't as apparent on a first look), but an emerald is green, dammit! Beryl = red. Emerald = green. Dur.

[bluerose16.livejournal.com]

Maybe they really meant it in an ironic, not-red sort of way. Like, if I said I was known for being as honest as a man, I would actually be saying that I lie frequently. That is the only explination that I can think of, or else they are typos. I hope they are typos.

[rivendellrose.livejournal.com]

*Laughs* I was hoping it was a negation type thing, too, but theladyfeylene is the one who pointed this out to me, and she said she didn't think that was it...

[bluerose16.livejournal.com]

^^ Well ... it was a thought.

Say, this may be a bit out of the blue, but have you hear of a book called Eats, Shoots & Leaves? It's positively hysterical.