what happened to my show?
Dec. 26th, 2009 12:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rivendellroseSpoilers. OMG spoilers.
What. The Shit. Was That.
Okay, so, this episode really, deeply confused me. Because there were moments, like Wilf tracking down the Doctor via his amazing pensioner's network and John Simm being John Simm, and David Tennant being an awesome actor in his scene with Bernard Cribbins in the little pub/cafe thing, where for brief moments I could see the show I like.
And then there was the rest of the episode, in which I was staring blankly at the screen wondering who the fuck took my show and replaced it with a pile of shit, and then I remembered, oh yeah, that'd be Russell Davies.
What the shit was up with the majority of this episode? Why do we suddenly have a bunch of women reenacting the resurrection of Dracula or something, and Lucy spouting some bizarre melodrama and getting blown up after seemingly stopping the Master from being reborn out of her lipstick, which actually didn't do anything at all to stop him from being reborn (again, I must point out, out of her lipstick)? Why do we have a black guy who is evil (again), and a black girl who is totally fricking psycho, both for no apparent reason? Why were all the Master's supposed acolytes women? Why is it that the Master is suddenly gorging on food like something out of a bad horror movie, and why (why, why, why) are we suddenly having a return to creepy zombie!Master? Except glowing? At least last time he didn't glow? Why can the Master suddenly shoot power out of his fingers, and why is he able to rocket into the sky by doing that? Why is he suddenly so freaking psychotic (so much more so than ever before), and why, by all that's holy, did I actually briefly believe Russell Davies when he said he was going to have character interaction in this? Why must the Doctor think that people have to be special somehow, when the old Doctor, the one I knew and loved, liked people because they were people? Why does whoever did the green peoples' makeup have a job doing makeup for a TV show when s/he obviously can't figure out how to hide a seam on a latex job worth shit, and why did s/he not tell the actress playing the green girl not to furrow her brow so god damned much because it makes the already-obvious seam on her makeup stand out in high relief so that no one could possibly ignore it? Why did we have so much focus on Obama? Why couldn't they have left actual living figures out like they've always done in the past, and why did they have to do that exceptionally cheesy, completely ludicrous and pointless thing with the Master turning everyone on Earth into himself when there's no way in hell that would be something that the Master would ever want, because he wants to be The Master of everything, not the same as everyone else. Why in the name of all that's good would he want that? What the hell is that supposed to do? Why, for the first time in the history of Doctor Who, do we have a narrator? What the hell?
There are so fucking many mysteries about this fucking episode that I can't even begin to write them all down. But the biggest, most fucking bizarre and confusing mystery, for me, is why at the end of the episode, when the Narrator turned out, as I'd suspected, to be a Time Lord and it turned out that the Time Lords are coming back, did I cheer? This is not good. There is no way, after this beginning, that this can be good. I spent the whole episode hoping - praying, begging - that it would change and become good, that it would redeem itself, but that one thing does not fix everything. I am so happy that the Time Lords are back - I really am!!! - but given how everything else about this episode turned to shit, I have a hideous feeling that next week is going to be no different, and that I'm going to wish by the end of this that I didn't know what a Time Lord was, or at least that I'd never sat down to watch this fricking episode.
I want to go back and watch classic Who now, and make myself feel better. But it's late, and I stayed up to watch that stupid drivel, and now I'm tired. GAH.
Edited to add: Why, dear god why, do we not get any female Time Lords at all in that shot of the Time Lords? Why? Because RTD hates us. Or at least hates me. And what is up with the of-course-she's-evil-this-is-RTD-we're-talking-about middle-age-TV-woman who kept harassing Wilf?
What. The Shit. Was That.
Okay, so, this episode really, deeply confused me. Because there were moments, like Wilf tracking down the Doctor via his amazing pensioner's network and John Simm being John Simm, and David Tennant being an awesome actor in his scene with Bernard Cribbins in the little pub/cafe thing, where for brief moments I could see the show I like.
And then there was the rest of the episode, in which I was staring blankly at the screen wondering who the fuck took my show and replaced it with a pile of shit, and then I remembered, oh yeah, that'd be Russell Davies.
What the shit was up with the majority of this episode? Why do we suddenly have a bunch of women reenacting the resurrection of Dracula or something, and Lucy spouting some bizarre melodrama and getting blown up after seemingly stopping the Master from being reborn out of her lipstick, which actually didn't do anything at all to stop him from being reborn (again, I must point out, out of her lipstick)? Why do we have a black guy who is evil (again), and a black girl who is totally fricking psycho, both for no apparent reason? Why were all the Master's supposed acolytes women? Why is it that the Master is suddenly gorging on food like something out of a bad horror movie, and why (why, why, why) are we suddenly having a return to creepy zombie!Master? Except glowing? At least last time he didn't glow? Why can the Master suddenly shoot power out of his fingers, and why is he able to rocket into the sky by doing that? Why is he suddenly so freaking psychotic (so much more so than ever before), and why, by all that's holy, did I actually briefly believe Russell Davies when he said he was going to have character interaction in this? Why must the Doctor think that people have to be special somehow, when the old Doctor, the one I knew and loved, liked people because they were people? Why does whoever did the green peoples' makeup have a job doing makeup for a TV show when s/he obviously can't figure out how to hide a seam on a latex job worth shit, and why did s/he not tell the actress playing the green girl not to furrow her brow so god damned much because it makes the already-obvious seam on her makeup stand out in high relief so that no one could possibly ignore it? Why did we have so much focus on Obama? Why couldn't they have left actual living figures out like they've always done in the past, and why did they have to do that exceptionally cheesy, completely ludicrous and pointless thing with the Master turning everyone on Earth into himself when there's no way in hell that would be something that the Master would ever want, because he wants to be The Master of everything, not the same as everyone else. Why in the name of all that's good would he want that? What the hell is that supposed to do? Why, for the first time in the history of Doctor Who, do we have a narrator? What the hell?
There are so fucking many mysteries about this fucking episode that I can't even begin to write them all down. But the biggest, most fucking bizarre and confusing mystery, for me, is why at the end of the episode, when the Narrator turned out, as I'd suspected, to be a Time Lord and it turned out that the Time Lords are coming back, did I cheer? This is not good. There is no way, after this beginning, that this can be good. I spent the whole episode hoping - praying, begging - that it would change and become good, that it would redeem itself, but that one thing does not fix everything. I am so happy that the Time Lords are back - I really am!!! - but given how everything else about this episode turned to shit, I have a hideous feeling that next week is going to be no different, and that I'm going to wish by the end of this that I didn't know what a Time Lord was, or at least that I'd never sat down to watch this fricking episode.
I want to go back and watch classic Who now, and make myself feel better. But it's late, and I stayed up to watch that stupid drivel, and now I'm tired. GAH.
Edited to add: Why, dear god why, do we not get any female Time Lords at all in that shot of the Time Lords? Why? Because RTD hates us. Or at least hates me. And what is up with the of-course-she's-evil-this-is-RTD-we're-talking-about middle-age-TV-woman who kept harassing Wilf?
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Date: 2009-12-27 06:36 pm (UTC)