open letters
Apr. 4th, 2017 09:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rivendellroseDear Fancy-Pants Neighbor,
Under most circumstances it would really annoy me that you had your landscaper tearing out your still-blossoming spring bulbs yesterday because that's a serious waste and it makes me sad, but since I was able to snag a bunch of the ones he'd left laying on the sidewalk and hustle them home to an empty planter on my balcony and a day later it looks like I'll probably have a number of cute little bluebells for a little while and possibly some hyacinths (which hadn't even opened yet, you monster), I guess some degree of thanks are in order.
Sincerely,
Your neighbor who hates watching plants die
Dear Cat,
I know you hate your e-collar (aka Cone of Shame). I know it makes you miserable and sad, and you don't understand why you can't lick your leg. The thing is, you had surgery. Remember that day when we took you to the scary place and then when you came home you were really wobbly and drunk and sore? Yeah. They had to cut a big tumor out of your back leg. You can't lick your leg because we'd like you to not tear out the sutures and reopen the incision. If you manage not to tear or otherwise damage anything before then, you should be able to have the sutures removed this Saturday, and then we can all go back to life as usual.
Until then, please try not to knock the guard-wall off your litter box and then forget where your fuzzy butt is supposed to be in relation to the box, get litter on your collar, or, worse, get poo on your collar. None of us have any fun when you do these things. None of us.
Sincerely,
Your Humans
Under most circumstances it would really annoy me that you had your landscaper tearing out your still-blossoming spring bulbs yesterday because that's a serious waste and it makes me sad, but since I was able to snag a bunch of the ones he'd left laying on the sidewalk and hustle them home to an empty planter on my balcony and a day later it looks like I'll probably have a number of cute little bluebells for a little while and possibly some hyacinths (which hadn't even opened yet, you monster), I guess some degree of thanks are in order.
Sincerely,
Your neighbor who hates watching plants die
Dear Cat,
I know you hate your e-collar (aka Cone of Shame). I know it makes you miserable and sad, and you don't understand why you can't lick your leg. The thing is, you had surgery. Remember that day when we took you to the scary place and then when you came home you were really wobbly and drunk and sore? Yeah. They had to cut a big tumor out of your back leg. You can't lick your leg because we'd like you to not tear out the sutures and reopen the incision. If you manage not to tear or otherwise damage anything before then, you should be able to have the sutures removed this Saturday, and then we can all go back to life as usual.
Until then, please try not to knock the guard-wall off your litter box and then forget where your fuzzy butt is supposed to be in relation to the box, get litter on your collar, or, worse, get poo on your collar. None of us have any fun when you do these things. None of us.
Sincerely,
Your Humans
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Date: 2017-04-04 09:32 pm (UTC)I wonder what was up with the flowers? Why would you plant them and THEN destroy them with landscaping renovations? HUH.
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Date: 2017-04-04 10:21 pm (UTC)My best theory is that this neighbor is one of those people who removes her flowers the instant they are not fresh anymore and replaces them with new ones for the Current Season. Either that or someone new just moved into the house and they hate bluebells and hyacinths and all things good and pretty, IDEFK. They're not our direct neighbors (I was on a neighborhood walk, they're actually maybe 6-8 blocks away from us), so I'm not sure. But I have heard about people who are weird like that about the whole "not letting things die away naturally" thing.
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Date: 2017-04-05 12:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-04-05 12:45 am (UTC)See, I'm not kidding when I say that I'm not vegetarian in part because then I would start to feel bad about eating plants, too... Poor little things drying out on the sidewalk, it broke my heart!
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Date: 2017-04-05 12:46 am (UTC)And speaking of how/when we first met: that icon of Delenn is the image I associate with you most. ♥
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Date: 2017-04-05 12:48 am (UTC)Honestly? I think this icon is the icon I associate with me most, too. IDEFK. Delenn is my perfect imaginary ideal self. XD
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Date: 2017-04-05 12:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-04-05 03:41 am (UTC)Besides, doesn't everyone either want to be Delenn or want her? Or both? ♥
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Date: 2017-04-05 02:21 pm (UTC)